~Seeking Peace & Pursuing It~

Sorry Everybody......I Moved

2008-09-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

I spent my weekend pretty much relaxing at home with my family. On Sunday, my husband attempted to kill me with some exercise. To hear that story I am inviting you to please join me at Wordpress where I have moved my blog too.

My new friend Roxanne at Sharing Notes and I have been disappointed that we don't get emotioncons. We have both looked into Wordpress and I made the leap. I wasn't quite sure what a widget was but I think I have figured it out.

I hope you all come over and see me there. :) Please :)
At Wordpress those would be yellow smiley faces.

***UPDATE***
I have relocated to:
http://theresatrotter.com/

Happy

2008-09-17T22:14:00.001-07:00

It is about 10 o'clock at night.

The kids are asleep.

I am kind of tired.

I am thinking about things.

Things are alright in life.
There are some good things going on.
There are some not so good things going on.
My Life isn't a bed of roses.

I can honestly sit here and say that I am Happy!

Are You?
If not is there anything I can do to help?
Feel free to email me if you want to talk privately.

Most of the time Happiness is just a choice you have to make.

What choice are you going to make?
Happiness or Something Else?

Forgiveness - ReRun

2008-09-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

I first posted this in March, after doing serveral posts about my mom and then my father. I had wanted to cover forgiveness before moving on to other things. I noticed in the advice my mother gave me yesterday that she is concerned about me falling into a pit of dispair and unforgivness. And while I am glad for the warning, I feel that I have dealt with some of the issues that she has not.

I do know that I have some new readers who probably have not read the story of my mother. If you are interested it is 4 parts and in the month of March. The story of my father is also interesting it is only 3 parts and also in March.

There was one other bit of advice in the previous post that I was surprised nobody hit on. I don't agree with my mother that I am suppose to let God worry about other people's faith. I feel that we are all called to GO and teach others about Jesus. I may cover that in a future post.

Thanks for letting me unload my baggage. If you have been around awhile you can stop reading now. :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I plan on writing more about my life soon. My Grammy was my best mentor/mother/friend in my childhood, actually in my life. She has been gone for 14 years now but I still hear her telling me how to bring my life to the feet of Jesus. How no matter what I have done my Abba Father would still love me and accept me. Where as it brought up some feelings of resentment telling my mom’s story and feelings of great grief to talk about my dad. When I tell my story about my Grammy I will be full of laughter, love and pride.

I thought that before I moved on to happier aspects of my life I would first talk about forgiveness. We know that when we confess our sins to the Lord that he forgives our sins. That the slate is washed clean with Jesus’ blood.

Oh, what a joy for those
whose disobedience is forgiven,
Whose sins are put out of sight.
Yes, what a joy for those
whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. – Romans 4:7-8

How come it is harder to forgive others sin against us than it is for God to forgive our sins against him? Am I the only one that has at one time or another been stuck on the hamster wheel of holding someone’s sins over their heads? Unable to forgive them for an action that hurt me? What about when you love the person and they hurt you? Break your trust? Use you? How easy is it to just turn the other cheek and say “I forgive you”?

What is Forgiveness? What is the true definition of it?
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

It took me a long time to really understand the depth of walking away from hurt. That I was suppose to treat that person as if nothing happened. But I also learned that the more unforgiveness I carried around the only one I was hurting was myself. I was stealing time from the Lord who wanted to work in my life. I was missing my blessings because I was stuck in unforgiveness.

One day I woke up and it was like God was sitting on the end of my bed. He was begging me to let him heal me. He told me to seek him first to heal my pain. At that moment I realized that I wanted the life he promised. I realized that I could forgive my mom for not being the best parent. I could forgive my dad for the things that were done to me but most of all for dying.

As I sit here today I reflect back on those things that caused me the most pain and I choose to not be a victim. I choose to be a Princess of my Divine Father! I am reconciled, loved, forgiven and most of all His child. My Heavenly Father Loves ME!!! YEAH!!! Guess what…..He loves all of you too.

Forgiveness is giving up hope
that you can change the past!

Advice

2008-09-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

I received some advice this evening in a letter. I thought I would share it.

"Since you have chosen a life in religion I would wish only that you remember that God judges, you don't. If you can accept people for what they are, and let God worry about their faith, and their beliefs you will be a happier person. And try to not hold grudges, both of your grandmothers were very unhappy, one reason was their absolute inability to let stuff go, to just start over with people or situations and try again, If there is any pit you might fall into, that is it. Forgive, try again, move on."

This letter also had a statement that caught me off guard.

"First off, I am proud of the way you have decided to live your life. I feel like I have contributed something to the world that is good and not bad. If you get to almost 60 and see it that way, you will be blessed. Many Don't."

The final statement that I will share of this letter:

"Don't forget, we are survivors. Your dad taught you how to hang out and find friends. I taught you to work and to survive. You got the best of both worlds."

I think my mom had a lucid moment and actually just like said she was proud of me and complimented how I live my life. She even gave me advice about forgiveness. She has done none of these things for at least 20 years.

I'm thinking her letter makes up for sleeping through my 40th birthday.

40 By 40...Goal Achieved

2008-09-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday is my 40th Birthday. I was born Friday the 13th in September of 1968. So people have asked me how does it feel to be middle-aged? Are you ready for a Mid-Life Crisis? Wrinkles? Menopause? Your Biological Clock Stopping Ticking?(that person really doesn't know me...LOL) I suppose I am ready for all of those things.

I am not someone that is dreading my 40's. I am actually thinking this is going to be one of the best decades of my life! My children will become adults. My life will become more mine and less theirs and my father in laws. I am looking forward to friendships with my children. I am looking forward to more freedom. I am looking forward to making my husband go places he really doesn't want to go but will because I am going. I want to go on mission trips. I want to see things! I want to enjoy ourselves just the two of us.

OK...Enough of my ramblings. I am sure you will all get to hear more about my dreams and goals later. I would like to show you a goal I met recently. This first picture has been posted before when I first started MY PROJECT in April. I went to a Bon Jovi Concert with some friends. When I got this wonderful picture I really realized that I am a big fat cow. I decided to join Weight Watchers. For those of you that don't know me or can't guess...I am in the purple.

One of my goals was to lose 40 pounds by my 40th birthday. I achieved that goal Wednesday at weigh in. Alot of you have been very supportive and I hadn't posted an update in a long time. I still have 20 more pounds in my total weight-loss goal. For now I am enjoying this goal. I am having potato salad this weekend. (I hear you Robin...I am going to use light mayo.) My husband wanted me to show you the difference so here I am tonight sitting in my dining room, 40.6 pounds lighter.

Happy Birthday to Me! The hard work has been worth it!Have a great weekend everyone!!! I plan on it!

Slowing Down for a Minute

2008-09-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

A friend sent out this email to me and others. It is one of those dreaded forwards. LOL Something about it made me think. Made me want to slow down for a bit. I wish you all a beautiful day.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things have settled down a bit.'

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask, 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift... Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

A Quiet Milestone

2008-09-10T03:00:00.000-07:00

Below is my 1st post ever, dated January 29, 2008. After I read it I remember that I wasn't going to do any posts. I had no idea what to write,I wasn't even sure how to do a blog list. I did feel if I was going to comment I needed to have a place where people could come find out about me. About the time I took my trip to meet my Blogging Friends in OKC I quietly surpassed 100 posts. So to celebrate that major milestone I am doing a rerun which includes the original 3 comments I received.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Still Reading

I mainly started this blog so that friends and family can keep up with the family. We are all so far away and it seemed like a good way to let them stay current.

But....there always is one, a but.

I have turned into an avid blog reader. I have found so many awesome people's blogs. I read them daily. I even comment on some. So now I am wondering if my blog is really just a place to list all of the blogs I like to read.

I'm not sure. I am not a college graduate that has the awesome writing abilities that these bloggers have.

SO for now....I am still Reading. And if I can ever figure out how to make a blog list I will!!

Much Love and God Bless

Posted by Theresa at 2:22 PM

3 comments:

Gina McClain said...
Theresa,
Thanks for the link... but more than that, thanks for reading my gab. Welcome to the world of blogging. Don't sell yourself short. Just have fun blogging your thoughts. You'll find a niche. Looking forward to reading more.
January 30, 2008 8:20 PM

Robin Meadows said...
Hey...thanks for the link love. Found you from your comment on Anna's page---thanks for reading her stuff! How'd you find us??

Looking forward to your thoughts here.
February 5, 2008 12:23 PM

Robin Meadows said...
PS - not a college grad either....writing abilities? hahahaha
February 9, 2008 6:04 AM

When was the last time you reread your First Blog Post?

I Love Your Blog

2008-09-08T20:04:00.001-07:00

Stonefox (otherwise known as Heidi) Writer of Moms, Ministry and More awarded me with the I Love Your Blog Award. She put me in a group of other blogs that are awesome ones. I am totally shocked and honored. I have been reading her blog for quite awhile, mainly lurking. Then one day I read this post about her son and the neighbor getting to know each other. To do this they were tossing things back and forth from window to window, on the 6th floor. It was so funny. About this same time she read a comment that I had left on Roger's blog and she went and read my blog. I think we were meant to be. LOL I only hope that I give her as much joy in any area as she gives me. Basically she makes me laugh.

So Now My Recipients Are:

1. Roger @ Roll Mental Camera- His blog is hilarious most of the time and when it isn't it is thought provoking. In person he is just as funny!

2. The Many Meadows- I love this blog. It is fairly new but that is only because Robin has enlisted her family to contribute to a family blog. So now we get great posts from Many Meadows and Wonderful Add In Family.

3. Hope @ Unveiling Hope- Hope has a beautiful heart. She writes a blog full of the Lord and how to become closer to him. It has also helped me to learn how to Love people better. I love Hope!

4. Starr @ Starr...like in the sky- She is young and fun. She has a great heart for God. She also blesses us with stories of her sweet son Matthew

5. It's a Plunderful Life- This is a wonderful blog for single mothers. It has also provided me a non-single mother with some great ideas and advice. It is put on by Kim @ Deliberate Hope. She also has some amazing contributors to this blog.

6. Heidi @ Find Me..Find Life..Real Life...- Meet the other Heidi in my life. Though I haven't yet gotten to meet her face to face. We text daily and talk on the phone at least once a week. She is an amazing woman. She loves God and serves him with everything that she has.

7. Cindy Beall so many things to say about her but not sure where to start. If you don't read her start. If you do read her then you know why she is on this list. I have had the pleasure of sitting and talking with her in person....I feel like we didn't cover half of what we wanted to talk about. I am not sure if we could in this life time. Cindy has an amazing testimony. If just one new person starts to read her blog from this post and finds comfort I will be happy.

So I have nominated 7 blogs for this award. There are many others that I love as well. Some are leadership blogs, political blogs, family blogs, jewelry blogs, homeschooling blogs, and so on. If you are looking for something that isn't listed above. Let me know. I may have a suggestion or know who does.

If you were a recipient here are the instructions to carry this award on.
Here are the suggestions for the recipients of the awards:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated.
6. Enjoy your award!

NO PRESSURE.....AS Heidi said IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE FUNNER AND FUNNER.

The Greatest Play In Baseball

2008-09-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

God Bless America!

Who Would You Be?

2008-09-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

Aside From God/Jesus.....

Who Would You Be in the Bible?

Why?

My Last Day in Oklahoma

2008-08-31T17:16:00.000-07:00

When I woke up Sunday morning I was a little bummed. I knew it was my last day. As I went out to say Good Morning, I found Robin by herself on the couch. This wasn't normal. Usually Dirk is up and in his man cave but he was no where to be seen. At the time we had no clue what was wrong with him. Appearently this was the start of the Gall Bladder relapse. Even though he wasn't feeling well he still took Robin and me to POP's for lunch. It is called Pop's not for someone's dad but because they carry millions of different flavors and kinds of soda pop. I was also told that the wait for actually seating to eat is usually long but it was a great day and we sat outside. On their menu of great things they combined my 2 favorite sandwiches. I ordered a BLT/Egg Salad sandwich. (Boy was I glad not to be counting points that day) It was great!!

We had one last get together planned with all the girls. So Robin, Erin, Kaden, Will and I swung by and picked up Cindy and her gorgeous boys and headed to Deleise's house. I was so excited because there were two things at Deleise's that I wanted to do. Through email before I even got to Oklahoma she had promised that she would make me Chocolate Molton Rock Star. It was absolutely wonderful!! She had also made a great cake for the party at Cindy's Friday night. I can totally see why her and her friends call their chocolate creations Rock Star! The second thing that I really wanted to do at Deleise's had to do with a post that I had read on her blog. She posted about a swing, a porch swing. She calls this the Faith Swing. It is a wonderful story if you haven't read it please take the time too. It is another example of having faith in God. When I saw the picture of the swing and read the post I wanted to sit in the Faith swing. So before I left her house that afternoon I did sneak out back and sit for a few minutes and talked with God about continuing to bless these awesome women and their families. I do know that the next time I am there that Deleise and I will sit in it together. Her with her coffee and one of her fofo creamers and me with an ice tea.

So I know that the above picture looks like it is all fun and games. Let me tell you it wasn't. Once Natalie and Kim arrived and we all got to tour Deleise's house. (She is really artistic!) Then the work began. The afternoon was scheduled for a double learning experience. First Kim and Erin trained us about CVS's money saving program. I must admit that since I don't have a CVS I really didn't pay much attention. Natalie did crack me up through the whole thing though. She is hilarious. The second learning experience was offered to us from Deleise. She had made us all folders with paperwork about meal planning and so much more. It is such a great resource! Kim has actually stated that she got all the binders and recipe cards and labels and stuff to create hers and make it all pretty like. (I was secretly hoping that with my 40th birthday coming in just a couple weeks she would send me a completed one LOL)

Cindy started a love around and we all stated something about the people at the table that we admired. I don't accept compliments well but I did love to hear these women opinion of eachother. It was really kind of neat. They each have such great individual talents, characters and personalities. The all share one attribute. They are all commited women of God. They all are human but do their best to Love Like Jesus. And their best is Very Very Good!

This was pretty much my goodbye to everybody but Robin. It was hard to leave them behind. It was really hard not to cry. I actually started in the car but with four little boys and 3 other women talking I had time to pull myself together. I had to say goodbye to Cindy when we dropped her off. It was hard but I knew that we would talk.

It was a nice night at the Many Meadows with the Many Meadows. I know I am going back. I am just not sure when. I know that Cindy, Robin, Deleise, Kim and Natalie are going to have to tell me to go away otherwise they are stuck with me for life.

Thank You All Again for All The Fun and Memories! You Ladies Rock!

Tea Anyone? / Lifechurch.tv

2008-08-27T20:16:00.001-07:00

Saturday Robin, Natalie, Kim, Deleise and I met for tea. We went to a place called Inspirations Tea Room. It was a very cute place. They had tons of different kinds of teas, which is good since they are a tea room. :) We had to wait a little bit but when we finally got seated the service was very nice. We ordered our tea and our lunch and started talking. When our food came the presentaion was very nice. I noticed a piece of paper on my plate. It was a Bible verse. We all had one. That to me was such a nice touch. If you tried to do that here in California you would probably get sued. I enjoyed my verse. I picked up Deleise's too. This is what they said.

I had such a nice relaxing time there. We laughed and talked and at one point even shed us some tears. Then we looked at our watches and realized we had been sitting there for 3 hours. That is a true sign of an awesome lunch with the girls.

The time flew by and now Robin and I needed too also. We had about a half an hour to get to the Edmond Campus (Big Cross) of Lifechurch.tv. Robin and Dirk serve as ushers during the service I was to attend.
When we got there I was introduced to some of the nicest people. While I was waiting for Cindy who I was going to sit by, I got to meet Nicole. She had a huge smile and her family was really sweet. I also got to meet and talk to Scott Rodgers. He seemed to really be having a good time. Cindy arrived and Natalie arrived and we went and sat. There I was between the Edmond Musical Geniuses. To much pressure for this lowly alto. :)

After this service Cindy and her boys and I went to dinner. Then I got to go and spend the rest of the evening with her. It was during those hours that I got to
pick her brain and learn. I got to see her mentoring skills live and in person. I got to feel like a friend not just a commenter on her blog. We talked and talked and talked. I had already respected her prior to my trip. All I can say is that I still do. She is one of those people who's opinion actually does matter to me but I can just BE with her too. Actually with all of these women I was able to just BE. No one made me feel inferior or like I didn't belong. They accepted me for me, flaws and all.

Only one more full day to go before my flight home. I was starting to get sad. I missed my husband and my kids but I really would have stayed another week or so. :)

Now The Party Can Begin!!!

2008-08-26T15:35:00.000-07:00

Now that everybody was there.

(Except for Amy and Susan, who were going to try and come from Austin, Texas. They had car trouble and didn't make it.)

The Party could really start!!

There were 14 kids that belonged to people in the house and I believe a few extra from around the neighborhood. Everywhere you looked there were kids playing. They were outside, upstairs in the bonus room and across into other people's backyards. They all got along well. Rogers son had a mishap later in the evening when he fell out of a tree. No broken bones just mighty painful. Luckily with that many kids, that was the only incident.

The kids out numbered us by 2. What was kind of sad was that we were all having such a good time that we really didn't get that many pictures. I took a couple and Natalie took some. In the picture above you find 3.5 husbands Dirk, Pastor JT, Chad and then David is the one that I cut in half. The baby in the grass is Kid 3 belonging to Kim and Chad. If you look closely through the window behind the guys you will see the TV is on. I believe that got turned on so that when Michael Phelps swam we could all cheer. Mr. Beall did some serious outdoor surround wiring. It was sweet! Also notice all of the red solo cups on the outdoor table. Mrs. Beall even had her sharpie out to write names on the cups. She is such a good hostess. One thing that I had forgotten to mention was that Cindy had already driven to Dallas and back that day. She was a little tired.

We all ate potluck style. Some inside, some outside. Cindy led us all in prayer. It was a great time of conversation and laughing. When I sat back and looked at everybody. The kids interacting, the adults all gabbing, it was hard to believe that some of these people were just as new in the house as I was. There was such a feeling of fellowship and fun.

At one point us girls must have had a pow wow. Not sure what it was about but we seem to be in deep conversation. I really felt like I had known these ladies forever. I know that I haven't mentioned Roger much but he was there and he was part of the evening. He is just as funny in person as he is in his blog. He was funny when he posed for the above picture, being the only male. His wife Shelly fit right in with all of us and Roger seemed to fit right in with the guys. It really was an amazing evening. I don't normally share what I write in my journal but I am going to for the second time this week. When I looked back at what I wrote I asked God,
Did you see us tonight? Did you see us all joined together through you?
It was through God that I found these wonderful people. It was little steps along the way that brought me to this place. I would never have thought what a profound affect watching my first message on the internet from Lifechurch.tv would have on me. Where deciding to read my pastor's blog would lead me. What a crazy button on a side bar would do to my life.

Mandy wrote this in one of her comments and it basically sums it all up for me. the word gift - you keep using it - but it's the best word to describe it all!

Gathering at Cindy's

2008-08-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

Friday evening had been slated for a party at Cindy Beall's. Originally it had been planned that Mr. Beall would be grilling meat and the other guests would bring a side dish. Unfortunatley Chris had to leave town to deal with church business. So we were on our own. I was dropped off before anybody else got there. Which was wonderful. I got to have a little alone time with Cindy and her boys. I had also brought her a couple things so this gave me the chance to give them to her. It also afforded me the extra time to show her my party fork. For those of you who may have missed the amazing BFF HOW TO Video by Kim and Natalie please follow the link and get ready to laugh! I wasn't taking any chances that Cindy might be using the same forks. I was scared of what the retaliation would be and at what cost to us innocent bystanders. In this picture you will see that my Party Fork is big compared to a regular fork. I really just wanted to make sure I didn't misplace it.

People started arriving and I got to answer the door. It was great! It wasn't just the women that came but their husbands and children. I would open the door and guess kids names...Boog, Goose, Monkey, Pastor JT, NATALIE!!! YAYYY and WAXY CHOCOLATE DONUTS. She also brought French Fries that Deleise's son Garrett said were the best ever in the whole world. Natalie is a fry genius with her seasonings. Roger and Shelly showed up with their boys. Roger's son informed us that his dad's salsa is the best. It was mighty yummy!! Deleise and David came with all four of their toe headed children. Deleise brought this outrageously great 4 layer chocolate cake (click link for recipe)

Then I was waiting and waiting...I went to Natalie and asked "Does Kim always run late?". For a few minutes there I thought that she had changed her mind. That she was like "Forget it I am not going, I don't want to meet the Stalker from CA." Then the doorbell rang, I raced to the door and there they were Kid One, Kid Two, Kim and Chad carrying Kid 3. (BTW I do know Kim and Natalie's children's real names)

Now the party can begin!!!

Bricktown/Bombing Memorial

2008-08-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Friday Morning I was a little slow moving. There is a 2 hour time difference. I will use it as an excuse but basically I was tired. I also wanted to be near my computer at 11 am OK time because Barlow Girl tickets were going on sale here in Redding then. So I got showered and moving. I wanted to go to the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial while I was there. Robin had decided that Friday was a good time to do that so after I bought my tickets online we left.

We decided to have lunch at a rib place. It is called Earl's Rib Palace. I had a wonderful sandwich. They have curly fries. Not the kind that have a coating of seasoning but just potatoes that are curly fries. They were wonderful. I ate every single one of them. I also decided at that moment that I was not going to worry about my WW points while I was there. I was going to try and be careful but I wasn't going to beat myself up about it either.

After lunch we walked around in Bricktown. They have made a cute little river that runs through that area. They also have some amazing sculpture there. There is appearently over 100 more pieces that will be installed as they are completed. The sculpture depicts a wagon train and it is life size. I enjoyed seeing this. It is beautiful. You can see that alot of work has been done to revitalize this area.

We headed to the Oklahoma City National Memorial. The outside memorial was peaceful. The three story museum was not. The museum is amazing for the artifacts that it shows. It is put together wonderfully, with great care and respect. It is very hard to deal with some of the stuff you see and the stories you hear. I don't believe that it is any less sad when adults are killed then children. It is just a little more chilling. I asked Robin What makes someone wake up and say "Today I am going to go blow up a building". I just can't grasp it in my mind.
This is the interior of the arch you walk through. It says 9:01. That is the time the bomb went off. There is a statue across the street that is Jesus weeping with his back to the memorial.

The exterior of this arch says;

WE COME HERE TO REMEMBER THOSE
WHO WERE KILLED,
THOSE WHO SURVIVED
AND THOSE CHANGED FOREVER

MAY ALL WHO LEAVE HERE
KNOW THE IMPACT OF VIOLENCE

MAY THIS MEMORIAL OFFER
COMFORT, STRENGTH, PEACE,
HOPE & SERENITY

The last line on the wall is "God Demands It!"

Many Meadows/My First Day

2008-08-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

Many Meadows is beautiful. It is green. It is family! It is lived in! There is tons of LOVE. I felt more welcome then you could imagine. Their property is wonderful. Chiggers and all. :) It was wonderful to see family just come over. I loved the daily visits from Mister Kaden and Mister Will. Seen here tag teaming me on my last night.
The Meadows Family including all of the children's spouses and children's children, which are known as the grands, are wonderful people. By the time I left I had only missed meeting two beautiful grand girls, one of the girl's husbands and an adopted daughter that I had heard alot about.

As I look back at my journal entry for the day, I found this statement. God you have led me here, cleared my path and created a peace in me. I am not suffering my normal anxiety at meeting new people. That is so important to me. I have huge issues with meeting new people. Sounds strange as I was the one that jumped on a plane and went half way across the country. I truly feel that God led me to go, He wanted me to meet these amazing people.

I was picked up at the Airport by Robin and Dirk. I arrived in OKC late in the afternoon. I got to talk to Natalie on the phone as we were driving. Dirk took us ladies to Sonic for something to drink. As stated earlier I have never heard of a double chocolate Dr. Pepper. I had a regular Ice Tea. We continued to their beautiful home. Where I was shown to my room which was beautiful. I had the nicest Welcome Basket from the Girls on the bed. It had cards, toiletries, magazines, mints and even a frame with a designer stick figure drawing by Cindy Beall! I bet y'all didn't realize what a great artist she is. I will treasure my original Beall for years and years.

That evening I went with Dirk and Robin to Switch Leadership training that was being given by Anna Meadows. I have been in leadership training before, this was amazing to watch from the sidelines. Anna has a great energy that is contagious. There were about 30 people present and a nice italian dinner was served buffet style. After we all ate they got started. It was refreshing to see the mold of training broken and some new things taking place. As important as it is that leaders learn all the rules. For a good part of this training it was evident that the importance was for the leaders to feel comfortable with eachother, to build relationships that fostered trust. I can see why Robin and Dirk are so proud of her. Anna carries herself well and covered the required boring information quickly and precisely.

As the training session was coming to an end the most amazing lightning storm started and the rain started to pour. As we drove home we could see lightning on both sides of the freeway touching the ground. It was bright and beautiful. What a way to end my first day.

Friday was going to be busy. I was going to get to meet all the rest of the people I came to see. I was a little nervous but more excited then anything. The Lord spoke to my heart telling me it was only going to get better.

A Special Gift

2008-08-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever received a special gift? A gift that was unexpected? A gift that you may not have wanted to tell anybody about because you didn't want to share? Have you ever received a gift that you were grateful for but very protective of?

I received a special gift this last week. The gift of Friendship, Unconditional Love and the Gift of being Welcomed into a tight knit community. I have selfishly been keeping this experience to myself. I have been dwelling on the individual details of it daily with the Lord. I have been praying about it, praising the Lord for making it possible and in a way fighting the enemy for making my REAL life seem so hard upon my return.

It is amazing how much a 4 day trip can change your perspective. It is amazing how little time it takes to have "If Only" feelings. I am going to spend the weekend getting the details of my trip down in posts. From Deleise's amazing chocolate desserts, a 3 hour tea party, Natalie and Kim are they really as close as it seems, stray horses in the yard, 5 year old's wanting to know why I am still at Mimi's house and all the other wonderful things I experienced. I really just needed to be selfish with the beautiful peaceful memories for awhile. It truly was like going home.

If there are any questions that you want answered ask and I will respond. Thanks for your patience. I like totally way appreciate it. (my CA talk is coming back alla y'all) Have a great weekend!

My Last New Experience In OK

2008-08-20T06:58:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken in the airport in Oklahoma City the day I was leaving. I really have never seen anything like it. Instead of using a normal paper toilet seat cover. You push the green button and it rotates the plastic cover to new plastic. I know WOW!!

I am still mentally processing alot of my trip. I am going to blog about it. How can I not. I met amazing people and saw amazing things. So bear with me and I promise it is coming soon. Of course most of my seven readers were there. But I know a lady in San Diego that is interested :) Love you all!

Packing and Heading Home

2008-08-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

I am going home tomorrow. It has been an amazing trip for me. I have been so blessed to be in the presence of my wonderful Edmond friends. I still have to go in and pack. I would like to stay for at least another 10 or 20 years. I think my family would be sad but Sooner (get it OK SOONERS) or later they would find me here.

My one piece of advice for my fellow bloggers. If you have become close blogging friends and have an opportunity to meet them. Take it!

Guess Who's Eye Balls?

Welcome to Oklahoma

2008-08-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today I flew to Oklahoma. I got up at 4:30 in the morning. Craig drove me to Saramento, about 2 1/2 hours.

I checked my bag at the curb and headed to the security checkpoint. I saw all the signs about how I can't travel with guns and knifes or fluids. I never saw the sign that said I had to take my laptop out of the case and have it scanned seperately. I am a novice laptop traveler. Thankfully the guys were really nice and we all laughed. I did enjoy the fact that for the hour I had to wait that I had free airport supplied WIFI. It made the time go by faster and I had fun chatting and twittering. I boarded the plane and was off.

We arrived in Phoenix where I had to change planes. I had an hour lay over and again free WIFI. I must admit that I thought Phoenix was not very attractive. I was excited to get out of there! It was an easy flight to OKC! We even landed a little early.

Robin and Dirk picked me up. YAY!! They were there. Robin is just as cute in person as she is on her blog!!. Dirk carried my super heavy suitcase for me! Then we were on our way to the Many Meadows. We did stop at Sonic and got something to drink. I have never heard of a chocolate Dr. Pepper.

Many Meadows is beautiful. It is green. It is family! It is lived in! There is tons of LOVE Here. I felt more welcome then you could imagine. My room is beautiful and I had the nicest Welcome Basket from the Girls!!

There was an amazing Thunder and Lightning Storm tonight!!!

I do feel very welcome in Oklahoma!! Can't wait to see more!

I am sooooo Excited!!

2008-08-13T19:52:00.001-07:00

Well for months I have been waiting to take my journey! I have had my ticket to Oklahoma City Since April 29th. Yep Over 3 months! In less then 12 hours I will be walking through an Airport Security Check Point! In less then 24 hours I will be in the capable hands of Miss Robin who has volunteered herself as my Angel!

In advance to all the people that I am meeting;
Miss Robin
Cindy
Kim
Natalie
Deleise
Roger and Shelly

Thank alla y'all for making me feel so welcome!

I can't wait to get there!

New Address Book

2008-08-11T22:22:00.001-07:00

I had to get a new address book. My old one is falling apart. I usually need a new one every 5 years or so. I thought this would be a good time to get one. I am hoping to be adding a few Oklahoma people to it at the end of the week.

The worst and best part of a new address book is writing in all your contacts. You get to clean up the ones that have moved 5 times since your last new book. Even when you write in pencil, there will be a time when all you can find is a pen to make a quick change with. There is a scratched out number here and an erased number there.

I also usually find that some people don't get moved into the new book. I wonder why that is. How did I lose touch with that person? Where did that person go? Why don't I talk with that person anymore? Why did they chose that lifestyle? It bothers me so much that I keep every one of my old address books. Sometimes I even reference back to them if I really want to try and find someone.

Am I the only one that this happens too?
Do you find people in your address book that you may have forgotten about or can't find?
Do you keep your old Address Books?

Lead or Follow?

2008-08-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

When Moses led his people out of Egypt the Bible says that they followed a pillar of cloud by day and the Lord provided a light at night with a pillar of fire. At that time the people followed the Lord.

BUT.....

Do we still? Or do we expect Him to follow us cleaning up our messes or responding to our every call?

I pray in the mornings for the journeys that I am suppose to take during the day. I pray for safety, good traffic and an even temper. I pray that we all make it home at the end of our days Happy, Healthy and Safely. Some mornings the Lord talks to me and I make adjustments to my plans or remember things that I am suppose to do and forgot about. Those are the days where I really feel Lord Led.

Then there are the days where I hear the voice but do what I want anyway. I ignore the things that I should have done and forgot about. I dilly dally the day away. Then when I get home I am irritable, frustrated and behind in what needs to be done. I pray to the Lord to give me the energy that I need to complete the tasks that I need to get done. The tasks that would have been done had I listened to begin with.

So in your relationship with the Lord....Who Leads?

Do you try and Lead Him? Or Do you let Him lead You?

Does God Laugh?

2008-08-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Do we do things that make our Heavenly Father Laugh?

How often do our children say or do something that makes us giggle? How often do they do something that makes you laugh so hard that we cry? (I have read that one of two of you have a problem with laughing fluids out your nose.)

I have blogged about having a reverance fear of God. A respectful fear of God. A reminder of his power.

But I have to wonder at this other side.

I want to imagine the Lord delighting in me...
In my happiness...
In my goofyness...

I just wonder if He sits on his throne, slaps his knee and belly laughs. Does he ever say "That Theresa, She cracks me up!"?

If all of our characteristics come from him...wouldn't that cover our sense of humor too?

Do we sometimes go to the Lord only in quiet time or worship?
Do we ever get up and do the happy dance and holler YEEHAAAWWW?

Do we leave God out of the Fun?

Blogging Friends

2008-08-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

I have made some Blogging Friends. I am excited to have the chance to meet some of them soon. I think that when we “meet” people by blogging we get to learn about them in different ways. We get to commisserate with each other about kids, jobs, our faith, marriage, etc. We can support each other, offer wisdom, or be the one that finds the help.

I believe that I have become blogging friends with women that I may not have approached in “real” life due to my self esteem. They may be in the “IN” crowd or Ministry Leaders spouses or have tight BFF relationships that appear not to have room for others. But by blogging I have found that they do accept me for me. They offer me support, they laugh with me, they pray for me, they offer me advice on teenagers. BUT NOW I need to meet some. I need to get hugs and finish forging the relationship. I really need to sit with them and laugh!!

I may only get to meet them once but I will still be a part of their lives and them mine if we chose to stay in touch. I love these people, my blogging friends.

They aren’t my imaginary friends….They are my God supplied far away friends! God made sure we met in a way that would tighten our bond prior to the stereotypes interferring with His work.
I have been really really blessed by Him in this aspect.

Two Weeks

2008-07-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

I am really excited. Two weeks from today I will be getting on a plane. I only have to wait TWO more weeks!!

I am looking forward to meeting everyone.

I am looking forward to the adventure of going to a new place.

So if anybody has great travel advice let me hear it!

If anybody has great Oklahoma advice PLEASE let me hear it!

If anyone has anything that they think they would like me to bring them from California, Please let me know!

Friends and Laughing

2008-07-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

I got to spend the weekend with one of my favoritest bestest friends in the world. She came up to the smoke zone, sniffling and coughing just to see me. She says she has missed me. I know that I have missed her. I haven't seen her for almost 2 months but we have had to go up to a year in the past without getting to see eachother.

Lenore and I met in 1982. She is the most amazing person. I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have stood up for each other at weddings, comforted each other at the passing of grandparents, celebrated the birth of children. It was fun sitting around and laughing about the cars we have owned and what we had done in them. We talked about when we went to see Bon Jovi, in 1988. We laughed about some ex-boyfriends both ours and her mothers and the fact that my mom never dated. Mostly we just laughed and laughed and laughed. Lenore and I seem to be able to pick up like we saw each other yesterday. Like no time has passed.

Do you have friends that are like that?
Do you have friends that are closer than family?
Do you have friends that make you laugh and laugh?

The Fence

2008-07-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

This last January we had a big storm and it blew down about 100 feet of wooden fence. No one has been in a real hurry to fix it. That is the side of the house with the "good" neighbors. The time has come though to get it fixed. I personally am tired of looking at orange plastic temp fence.

Craig has been getting estimates for all kinds of fencing. Mel and Craig haven't been able to agree on what kind of fencing to get. Craig wanted to replace it with wood. Mel wants chain link. Craig wants the privacy that wood offers and Mel wants the price break that chain link offers. Ben the next door neighbor doesn't care which product is used "Just let me know what I owe Ya".

My personal opinion is that I prefer wood. I am a fat chick that likes to not be stared at in my bathing suit when I go swimming. I am not real fond of chain link but if you get the kind with the slats I will be somewhat satisfied.

This got me to thinking about the fence that I have erected around my heart. Is this fence made of wood so that nobody can guess what is in there? Are there slats in the Chain Link so if you stand there with your face pressed to it and one eye at an opening you can see little pieces of who I am but never the whole picture? Or is the fence that surrounds my heart Chain Link open for all to see everything but still a blockade so that you can't touch it or hurt it?

A Wooden Fence can't withstand the wind.
A Chain Link Fence with Slats only shows you part of the picture.
A Chain Link Fence lets you see the picture but you can't participate in it.

Through the years of dealing with garbage that had been filling my life, I hope that if there is still a fence around my heart it is a Chain Link one that is only 3 feet high. But most of all I pray that it continues to get smaller everyday and that people around me not only can see Christ in me but can feel him and desire him also!

Hope and Her New Dream

2008-07-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

Once a year I become the only girl in my household. My daughter goes to camp at Alliance Redwoods. This is where she asked Jesus into her heart last year.

It has been a hard couple of weeks with Hope. She has decided that she wants to follow a path in her life that her father doesn't support. I personally am not real pleased with it either but I handle things differently than Craig. Craig is one that just says no. I am one that wants her to try and find out for herself that it isn't as wonderful as she thought it would be. My sweet little girl wants to be an actress. I am not sure where this desire has come from. I think that she likes Zac Ephron a little too much and thinks that if she is an actress then they can get married. How many little girls do you know that want to be actresses?

I think what bothers me the most about her announcement is that in the last month I have noticed that she is drifting further and further away from her youth group and her desire to be involved. She is shy and has decided that her brother is the chosen favorite child. Which is the furthest thing from the truth. Hope is one of the few people that I never tire of being with. To be perfectly honest if you lined up the people in my house and said to me that I had to pick someone, take them and leave forever. I choose Hope. She is such a special soul.

My prayer this week is that Jesus reminds her of who she is in him. That she remembers that she is his princess. That she remembers that she is always my Chosen One. But way before that she was His Chosen One!!

If you have extra room in your prayer list please add my peanut. I can't imagine her losing her faith at 13.

Thanks for listening to a trouble mother. I miss her already and she has only been gone 8 hours!!

Cover Charge

2008-07-18T09:49:00.001-07:00

The Countdown Has Started

2008-07-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

I am really getting excited! There are only four more weeks until I am on a plane. 28 Days until I land in Oklahoma. Again I am really getting excited!

I need this time away. I am tired. The whole situation with my Father In Law is wearing me out. First the amputation, then the heart attack, then the move back to rehab. I feel blessed that he is still alive. I have been spending more time at the hospital then I have at work. Then when I make it home I have 2 teenagers that seem to miss their mother.

I did get a good laugh the other day at Craig. I was sitting on our bed writing checks for bills. He wanted to know what I was doing. He told me that I had already paid bills. I laughed and informed him that I had paid his father's bills, now I was paying ours.

I would love to tie all this into something spiritual but all I can say is that I am sorry for the lag in blogging. I think that if I spend much more time in the hospital I am going to get a WIFI aircard.

My 13 year old daughter just came in my room and informed me that I have to get up and go to work in the morning. That I should really turn off the lights and go to sleep. I think I will take her advice.

Have a great weekend!!!

SIDENOTE: The President was in our town today. So the California fires that are running on the news that he is looking at are here. Yucky smoke still heavy in the air.

Pool Party

2008-07-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday we celebrated Hope's 13th Birthday which was the 2nd. We had planned a pool party for the end of June but that was the weekend that all the fires started and the air quality was terrible. The fires are still burning but the delta breeze has helped with the air quality. So breathing is a little easier now.

All of Hope's friends showed up. We barbqued hamburgers and hotdog, had lots of chips and soda. Of course we had a birthday cake. My daughter is my mother's child in this area. Hope requested a chocolate cake with chocolate filling and chocolate frosting. I totally thought of Natalie and Kim when we cut it. I passed on the cake.

There was just one thing that really bothered me about the party.....

I blogged about it in May. Only one parent came to the door with their daughter. She was the only parent that I even really know. So all the other parents, mom's included, just pulled up and let their daughters out of the car. Seven girls and I had never met their parents. They didn't even come to the door with phone numbers in case of an emergency.

This is our pool. It is made out of concrete and plaster. There were a bunch girls that were getting rowdy in my concrete pool. What if one of them had cracked their head open when jumping in or some other injury? Amazing to me.

Really....What is going on with today's parents?

Insecurity

2008-07-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

I thought I would share a shortcoming of mine with you. I have always been insecure. I have always worried about making other people happy, doing the right thing and being liked.

I get nervous when I am meeting new people. That cracks up my friend Leslie because she says I am really out going and easy to talk too. I of course want people to like me and worry that I am not good enough. Things have changed over the years. I don't get as tramatized as I use too. I have been known to sit in my car and talk to God for a long time before going into a gathering though.

I know that He doesn't want me to live this way. I also know that He loves me and that supercedes everybody else's opinion. I don't want insecurity to define me anymore. I have been studying Who I Am In Christ for awhile now and INSECURE isn't on the list. If you suffer from insecurity, I totally know how you feel! Here is just one of the many scripture that tells us we are important to God. If you need more don't hesitate to ask. I have them.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can't even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me. - Psalm 139:17-18

Tell me that isn't awesome scripture....When I wake up you are still with me! Amen

Hope everybody has a blessed weekend!

Uneasy

2008-07-08T23:39:00.000-07:00

My Father in Law, Mel, has been moved to a rehab hospital. I know this is a good thing. Him being moved there this quickly is actually a very good thing. He appears to be highly motivated to start his rehab therapy.

When Craig and I went to the center today, I got a really uneasy feeling. There wasn't anything visually out of place there. No patients that looked abused or stranger than normal smells. The place just bothers me.

By the way, not sure if I have ever mentioned that until the last 5 years or so Mel and I preferred to stay away from each other. He is kind of a womanizer and well I am kind of not. :) Just a little history. We have grown on each other the last couple years especially.

I wanted to load up his hospital bed and bring him home right then!! His doctor said that if he gets strong enough to move from the bed to the wheelchair easily that he can come home in 3 weeks instead of 6 weeks. I am praying and motivating him in that direction. I really just want him home.

I am having a really hard time finding my peace right now. I will say that it is amazing what the Lord can do to your heart when you aren't looking. I really do love the old guy. I also give all the glory to God that we didn't lose Mel last week.

I am Married to a Smuggler/ F-I-L Update

2008-07-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

Thank you all that have been praying for my Father In Law's surgery and recovery. The procedure went well. He looks great already. It is amazing what prayer, food, nutrition and chopping off an infected part of your body can do for you. Mel is looking at 6 weeks of rehab and a prosthetic. There is a period of depression that the doctor warned him about that usually comes about 2 weeks into rehab. We are hoping that his strength will be good enough to come home in the next 3 weeks and continue with the remainder of his rehab as an outpatient. I will update you on any new developments. Thank you all again for your support.

I would like to introduce you all to my husband Craig the Smuggler! We were all at the hospital when Mel was brought to his room from recovery. We stayed awhile and then a group of us left. Craig stayed behind and talked to his dad for awhile. When Craig finally left to come home for a bit he asked his dad if he could bring him anything back. Mel wanted a milkshake. YES A MILKSHAKE!!!

Now I am pretty sure that that is not on the list of acceptable foods to eat when you have had half your leg cut off and you are diabetic. Well my wonderful husband wanting to make his father feel better brought him one of those pictured above. He smuggled it in the hospital and Mel started drinking it. They got busted by the nurse. The nurse though was wimpy and wouldn't take it away. She did have to call Jack in the box to find out how many carbs was in it to get him the right amount of insulin. The lady nurse then sent in the big man nurse and he was a little intimidating. Craig stood his ground and Mel told mannurse it was good and he would do it again. Ryan, Hope and I were laughing so hard we almost pee'd our pants.

Tomorrow we are expecting to see a DO NOT FEED THE PATIENTS sign.

If you are ever having any surgeries, let me know and I will send over the smuggler to bring you waxy choclate donuts, Starbucks, Lava Cake, etc.

Thongs--FLIP FLOPS

2008-07-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

(UPDATED....I WAS TALKING SHOES NOT DENTAL FLOSS....LOL)

This morning I was packing a book bag and I threw in a pair of thongs.

Hope said "Mom why don't you just wear them to work?"

I said "They don't want us to wear thongs to work?"

Hope said "AAAHHHH Well that is dumb! I am never going to work!"

I love that child!

Special Day for Hope

2008-07-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

One of my greatest blessings in my entire life is that girl that I am hugging. That is my daughter Hope. Today is her 13th Birthday! Meet my baby that is now officially a teenager!

She is my proof that God is a forgiving God. That he listens to our prayers. That he loves us no matter what we do. That he blesses even those that are undeserving. I fall on my knees everyday and thank the Lord for Hope. I know that she is a special soul that He entrusted to me....He actually entrusted Hope's sweet soul to me! Can you believe how blessed I am!!!!

Happy Birthday Peanut!!!

Give Yourself to Silence

2008-07-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

I cut out an article from The Curves Magazine Summer 2005. It is an excerpt from Small Graces by Kent Nerburn, PHD

GIVE YOURSELF TO SILENCE

If you learn how to listen, you can hear the subtle passing of magical momments.

We all have to learn how to listen. Our spirits are harp strings, played upon by the winds and the light and the passing of the hours. We must learn to hear their music, and let them raise melodies in our hearts.

Is there a greater wisdom than this to learn? To sit in utter stillness; to give oneself over to the whisper of the trees, the play of the light upon the surface of the water, the movement of the wind against the grasses on the land?

The yogis would have us cease all movement and listen to our breath.

But is it not as worthy to sit in silence and listen to the breath of God?

The Answering Voice

2008-06-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

We kneel to pray - we voice our desperate need
For quick release and comfort, then arise,
Not tarrying a moment there to heed
The answer to our eager clamoring cries:
The answer that will come, though soon or late,
If we would only listen, only wait.

God is not deaf to any earnest prayer.
He hears, he heeds, he answers every one
Who gives a burden over to his care,
And humbly yielded, prays, "Thy will be done."
God grant us patient grace to wait thy word
After our earnest sincere prayer is heard.

Oh, if men would listen as they seek,
Out of the silence God's clear voice would speak!
--Grace Noll Crowell

I know that I need to slow down and listen for God's voice to answer!

This poem is on a postcard that was sent to my grandmother.
It is postmarked August 13, 1953.

The Sun is Red

2008-06-25T22:21:00.000-07:00

At the moment there are over 100 wildfires burning in every direction. Some are as close as 15 miles, 30 miles and others are 60 miles. The sky is smoke filled. Ash is falling and coating our cars and clogging our pool filters. Most of the fires aren't even slightly contained. Some of the fires in the more rugged areas like the Trinity Alps will probably burn until the start of fall. We have been blessed at they are mainly burning in vegetation areas instead of populated ones. We have lost very few buildings but if they don't get a couple of them contained there will be more lost. The sun is red.

It is all really eerie. Makes me really happy that I am God's Child because I am sure this is mild compared to Hell.

Prayers Please

2008-06-24T16:13:00.000-07:00

This last weekend a mother was driving with her 12 year old daughter in the car. She over-corrected when she hit a soft shoulder and rolled her car. Her daughter Cassidy was killed. This poor mother is having a hard time. She lived her life for Cassidy. Please keep her in your prayers all of us around her are praying hard for her.

A Tater Story

2008-06-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they named 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry No Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. When she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......

Are you ready for this?

A COMMONTATER

That was for my daughter Hope. She said that I wouldn't post it. :) It is kind of cute! Come on your gotta laugh. LOL

He is Preparing a Place

2008-06-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

Most of you that read my blog read Cindy Beall’s. I was led to Cindy through a post about her on Flowerdust. I would read her posts and then read the comments left and then I would click on their names and read their blogs. That continued until I have compiled quite a list that goes from the East Coast to the West Coast and even a few in Canada, HI HOPE and VIKKI!!!!! One of the commenter that I found on Cindy’s blog is Sarah Markley. I have really just been lurking for a while but this last week I started to make my presence known to her a little. Cindy, you better warn her about me. I am a cling on. Actually that isn’t totally true. I only Stalk one person at a time. LOL

Lately I have had a craving. Not a food craving, but a craving to be somewhere other than where I am. Maybe craving isn’t the right word for it. I have been experiencing homesickness. I have been missing the ocean something awful. Sarah and her beautiful family have spent this last week in my hometown region. Sarah took some beautiful pictures that are so amazing that when I look at them I can literally smell the beach.

In John 14 Jesus says that his Father’s house has many rooms and that he is going to prepare a place for us. What do you imagine your room to be like? Do you think that your views will be similar to the places you loved here on earth? Is heaven so beautiful that our memories of the beauty here will pale in comparison?

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. - John 14:1-33

10 Percent or NMFAPIMWLC

2008-06-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today was my day to weigh-in at Weight Watchers. I have been following their Flex Plan. I feel that I have been pretty successful considering I have never dieted before in my life.

So at the weigh-in today I found out that I have accomplished 3 goals.

1. I have lost over 20 pounds in a little less than 2 months.

2. I weigh less than 200 pounds for the first time in over 4 years.

3. I got to receive this beautiful copper key ring that represents a weight loss of 10% of my starting weight. Copper isn't normally my color but I will use it with pride.

Miss Robin I want to thank you for being my Oklahoma accountability partner and cheering squad. I love you Lady. Someone please go hug Robin for me. :)

Actually I want to thank you all for your encouragement and support. I hear your cheers and welcome them.

5 Things....

2008-06-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

5 Things in my life that are BLESSINGS......

1. My Husband
2. My Children
3. My Church
4. My Job
5. My Home

The ONE thing responsible for me having so much. My Heavenly Father.

Sometimes I just need to see it in writing. Have a blessed Day!

Solitude

2008-06-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how it happened but I acheived 4 hours of solitude Saturday evening. I felt like the little guy on the top of the mountain. Of course the only way I would ever get up there would be by helicopter. The amazing thing about this time alone was that it hasn't been very long since the last time I was alone. I never get it twice in a year, this has been twice in 6 months. I am so blessed!

The guys left for a basketball tournament at 10. Hope and I went shopping. we had to get her the perfect pool party invitations which of course had to include a new bathing suit. Then at 4 her friend came and got her. They went to the fair. My father in law was still here but he is an adult with a drivers license and at the moment is capable of taking care of himself. I literally came into my room and sat on my bed slightly shell shocked. Sometimes it is hard to get use to the silence.

For the last few weeks I have been attending our Saturday Night service at church so I went to that. The rest of the time I did absolutely nothing except sit in silence and read my bibles. It was wonderful. I love it when I can have a couple translations and can compare verses.

It was such a great evening I almost feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Hope spent the night with her friend. I was pretty much in bed at 10:30 when the guys got home.

So I guess you can say I was Seeking Peace and Pursuing It.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Reverence

2008-06-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

I pretty much love the whole Bible. Tonight I was reading in Philippians. This just really spoke to me.

Work Hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Philippians 2:12-13

The word Reverence is in the Bible lots. It is in the Old and New Testament. I have looked up the dictionary meaning but I think that there is more to it than that. One of the things that I see a lot of churches doing these days is forgetting to teach that we are suppose to have reverence towards the Lord. It seems that God has turned into the ever loving Father that would never treat us like misbehaving children. Reverence and Fear.

Do you remember early in the Bible when the Israelites were actually scared of God? Sure they grumbled and mumbled but they also feared him. Do you remember when they made Him mad he sent his wrath on them a few times. Illness, Snakes and then he pledged that none of them would ever get to go into the land of milk and honey.

Isn't this the stuff that Reverence is made out of?

What does Reverence mean to you?

Am I missing a point and getting confused?

Devastating News-Jokingly Sorry Deleise!

2008-06-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight Craig and I found out some devastating news. It was quite troubling when it was brought to our attention. I am almost scared to admit it. I hope that it won't change any of your opinions of me. Poor Craig doesn't stand a chance since most of you don't know him.

OK Here goes.....

My 12 year old daughter informed us tonight that we are NOT HIP or COOL!

I know hard to believe. I am still stunned by this. I have always believed myself to be at least a little cool. So here is the reason that this title was bestowed on us.

Hope turns 13 on July 2 and she would like to have a pool party. She wants to invite about 8 girls. I really don't have a problem with that. Then she informed us that she wanted to invite a BOY. Now this isn't a boy that we have known forever and is like a brother to her. This is a boy that all of a sudden at the of the school year I started hearing his name. I don't know him or his parents but most of all...MY DAUGHTER IS 12 AND NOT GOING TO DATE!!!!

So are Craig and I being to UN-HIP? Please I could honestly use your advice.

Project Update or NMFAPIMWLC

2008-06-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Here is my every 2 week update. I am not posting any pictures this time. Sorry.

On May 25th My weight was 210
I am now 203.
Total Weight Loss since April 19th is 17.8 pounds.

Have a great week everyone!!!!

Friday Outing

2008-06-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

It is officially 12:01 am PST Friday morning. I am about 150 miles away from home. So I that qualifies this as a Friday Outing. Most of this outing took place on Thursday.

Craig and I both got off work at noon. We meet at home, changed clothes, grabbed the camera and my laptop and ran out the door before anybody figured out we were home. Actually we had made arrangements for the kids to be taken care of. I am too much of a pre-planner to not have details taken care of. This excursion I felt as if I was flying by the seat of my pants because aside from one very small portion of our trip I took no directions. I usually have the directions from my house to the first stop, from the first stop to the second stop and so on….

Craig is folicaly challenged . He has been the entire time I have known him, 18 years. I have seen pictures of him with hair and I think he is better without it. I’m just saying (That was for you Cindy). A few months ago he had seen a hat at a store in Chico that he really liked. So he wanted to go back and see if they still had it. This is where women rock. We wouldn’t have taken the chance of it not being there, we would have just bought it. So we drive the hour or so in search of this elusive Giants hat. (I have attempted to buy it online and it is discontinued) Sad to say they didn’t still have the hat.

We decide to get some lunch and as some of you know I have been doing weight watchers and have been successful with it lately. Today was my spoil myself day! I had DOUBLE FRIED French Fries!! They were so good!!! (Robin, I only ate half the order. I couldn’t bring myself to eat them all.) Chico is a college town so I had a great time people watching. We wandered the shops which are very cute.

We hit the road and headed south for another hour and a half and ended up in Roseville, CA. Roseville is a suburb of Sacramento. I love concerts and I am one of those people that stalk the ticket sites before they go on sale. I make sure I have a seating plan printed out. I make sure that if I have to have a presale code I have it. Concerts are one of my most favoritest things in the world!!!! This time I wasn’t going to miss out either. This group has been on the top of my must see list. So on March 17, 2008 at 10am I was sitting at my computer waiting for tickets to go on sale. As soon as they went on sale I clicked and bought the best I could! 3 Tickets, 2nd Row, Center!!! I texted my girlfriend, Lenore, and we started planning. We were going to Casting Crowns!!!! My husband had a date with 2 of his most favorite ladies! My wonderful husband is driving me the 170 miles home tonight so that we can both get up and be to work in just a few hours. Lenore lives an hour south of Sacramento. So she is on her way in the opposite direction. That part of the evening sucks. We have been friends since school. I wish we lived closer.

The concert was held at Adventure Christian Church. It is big and holds probably about 3500 people. They host great concerts. I have made the trek a few times to see great performers like Jeremy Camp, Third Day, David Crowder, Kutless, and many others. They sit high on a hill that overlooks the valley. For being in the Sacramento area it is actually quite breathtaking in an unexpected way. We are blessed to have K-LOVE and AIR-1 both based out of Rocklin which is right there. They really strive to get good shows for us.

Have a Great Weekend!

WAS/AM

2008-06-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

Who I WAS:
Selfish
Harsh
Sinful
Angry
Mean

Who I AM:
Blessed
Healed
Beautiful
Loved
Wanted
Peaceful

Today some of who I WAS came out. It came out in a somewhat joking manner. But it was one of those things that as soon as I hit send I regretted sending it. The person on the receiving end is an awesome woman who is a much more mature Christian than me and it is with a heavy heart that I think that I may have hurt her in any way. She was most gracious. Thank you for your loving heart.

Why is it so easy to slip back into the WAS instead of staying in the AM?

Topless

2008-05-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

After my last post about "Hiding the Girls" (Thank You Natalie Perfect Phrase For It). I got really concerned that this meant that I would no longer be allowed to go TOPLESS too!! I prayed about it for the last two nights and really felt God tell me that as long as it was in my car it was ok with HIM. :) Craig had spent a couple hours waxing my car. I really have a blast in my car. This post is also just meant for laughs. Thanks for stopping by.

OK God, I Hear You!!!

2008-05-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

I started developing at an early age. I was the only girl in the 5th grade to wear a bra. A real bra, not a trainer(Sorry Guys). By the time I was in the 7th grade I was the same cup size that I am now. It hasn't mattered if I have been 150 lbs or 230 lbs they are the same size.

Needless to say my chest area has always been of interest to the opposite sex. I am no Dolly Parton but they can be hard to miss. Once in a while I purchase a shirt that the neckline is a little low or after washing it just isn't right. I don't think that they quality control necklines on shirts from Bangladesh. I think we should have a massive recall!! I'm sorry let me get to the point.

I have a white shirt. It is a fairly recent purchase. It is actually the one I am wearing in the picture a couple posts back. It is a V-Neck with embroidery around the neckline. I really like that shirt. I love white shirts and I prefer a V-Neck. I wore that shirt to work today. I was going about my morning, doing payroll and I kept looking down. And can you guess what I kept seeing???? I kept seeing all the way down my shirt to my lap. then I would hear someone whisper in my ear... Do you really want everybody to see all of you? Then I would do so some more of my task and I would look down and see the same thing and hear the voice tell me that I need a camisole. This went on all morning.

I get off at noon on Thursdays and I came home and had lunch with my husband. He though I was crazy when I told him what I had kept hearing. Then I came in the bedroom and put on a camisole and he realized that my shirt was really low cut.

I remember that I read a blog recently about modesty and covering up. I think it was on Natalie's or Cindy's but I couldn't find it when I looked for it.

I know the voice was God. He was reminding me that I am his child and he really would appreciate it if his children didn't dress that way. Just the same way I patrol Hope when she goes out.

OK God, I Hear You!!!!! Thanks for loving me and caring about me!!

Sleepovers

2008-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

My daughter is 12. She spends the night at other people's houses and girls spend the night here. Most of the girls I have known since Hope was in the 2nd grade. That was when we moved here to Redding. Some of them went to other elementary schools but now go to the same Junior High. A few of them are just new to the area.

My daughter doesn't go and spend the night anywhere without either Craig or I knowing where the house is, a home phone number, a cell number for both a parent and the child if they have one and a basic walk through of the common areas of the house. We aren't looking to see if you are a slob. We are making sure that there is RESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION. Trust me if you are an adult it doesn't necessarily mean you are responsible.

It amazes me how many times Hope has asked us if someone can spend the night and we have said yes. We are expecting to at least talk to parents on the phone. BUT NO they show up out front slow down enough so they can throw their child out of their car without injury and then speed off.

Sunday Hope had asked if a girl could spend the night. She said that she had moved to Redding about two weeks ago and she is really nice. Craig and I told her Yes. So imagine my surprise when my husband and I were watching some sports and Hope comes in and says Melissa is here and her dad wants to meet you. I about fell over right there. Craig and I went out happily and met her father and her little sister he asked a couple questions actually told us when he would like to pick her up the next day and made sure we had his phone number. God bless this man!!!!!

What is going on with people in this generation? Is this normal to just kick our kids to the curb? Do we really not cherish our children? I can't imagine just leaving Hope or Ryan somewhere and not know anybody at the house. I guess I am confused, maybe this is just a California thing. Personally it is really troubling.

I call it My Project or NMFAPIMWLC

2008-05-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

I joined His Life For Mine and a group of her friends and ministry leaders in their weight loss challenge. She decided that Mondays would be her update day. I figured I would join her with that as well.

I have still been sticking with counting my Weight Watchers Points. I absolutely love this program. I find it very easy and I love the fact that it is teaching me to eat regular food instead of expensive, prepackaged, preservative filled, microwave stuff like some other programs.

I really need to kick start the fitness part of the program. I have started doing little things like taking the stairs and taking my shopping cart all the way back to the store as well as parking further from the entrance. In a couple weeks the water fitness classes start at the community pool. I can't wait for that. I am also using it as an excuse to do nothing now. Hey at least I admit my short comings. :)

I am enclosing two pictures one is from March 29 the other is from today May 25. The best thing about the today picture is the pants I am wearing have not graced my body for over a year and I can actually sit comfortably in them.

228 pounds About 2 weeks before I joined Weight Watchers 210 pounds standing in my backyeard.

For those of you curious NMFAPIMWLC Stands For

Memorial Day

2008-05-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

I want to take a moment and thank our troops and their families. I want to tell them that I appreciate their sacrifice to secure the freedom that my family experiences. You are all in my thoughts and prayer regularly.

Please take some time this weekend to thank a Veteran, an Active Duty Soldier or take a moment to remember our fallen soldiers. Our Heavenly Father has blessed us and this country.

I pray for you all to have a wonderful time with your families this weekend.

Country Organics

2008-05-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

About 3 years ago I was leaving my house in the middle of the day. This was strange for me because I was usually at work. As I was backing out a my driveway I noticed this guy coming out of my neighbors garage. I didn't recognize him so I asked him if I could help him with anything. He said that every week he delivered fresh organic produce to my neighbors. That sounded interesting to me so I asked him for some information.

I am not like most women. I really am not that fond of shopping. Grocery shopping is my least favorite. The produce aisle is my very least favorite. So while most people that sign up for this service do so because it is organic. I signed up because I would no longer have to set foot into the produce department.

Soon after I started receiving my box the owners sold. The new owners have since become really good friends of mine. They have 4 beautiful children. They are a wonderful Christ following family. They home school their beautiful children. They pray for me all the time. I love them. So if you want to check out their services head on over to their website Country Organics.

For you out of towners, Do you have anything like this in your home town?

Hope's Bad Day

2008-05-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

Robin is covering some behavior and discipline issues this week on her blog. The timing is perfect.

My sweet daughter Hope got herself into a situation at school on Tuesday. It was very hard for me to not step in and "fix it" or whisk her away from the turmoil. I was at work and I received a text message from Hope. She wanted me to come and pick her up at school. I asked her "When and Why?" It was only 9 am. I was really confused. She sent me another text message explaining that yesterday (Monday) she told (aka tattled) on the "most popular" boy in 7th grade because he flipped off the math teacher behind her back. So this boy ended up getting suspended from the math class and his parents grounded him for 6 months. So when she got to school Tuesday it all started. The other kids at the school had started calling her names and basically were just being mean to her. She kept texting me, begging me to come and get her. Craig and I talked about it and we didn't think that was the best thing to do. If she would have gone home then they would have just had something else to tease her about the next day.

It broke my heart. I never want to see my kids get picked on or be upset. I mean I am a mommy I want to protect them from the bad stuff. I also felt that Hope needed to learn to deal with the ramifications of her actions. I am not saying that what she did is wrong but she needs to know the consequences to her actions. I did pick her up when school was over and I brought her the biggest chocolate shake with whip cream I could find. She looked so strong when she walked up to the car, I was proud of her. Her head was held high and her back was straight. As we drove down the street I asked her what really happened and it all came flowing out...the story and the tears. She had made it all day without tears. My peanut is so strong!!

When she went to school today the kids pretty much left her alone and things are basically back to normal. I also think that she learned a lesson about weighing the pros and cons of a situation.

I wonder how many times I have put God in the same position. How many times have I done something and then begged him to deliver me from it? How many times have I not really thought something through knowing that God was on my side and could make everything ok?

OUCH

2008-05-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

I knew it was coming. Matt Lauer just warned me the other morning. He said that gas would be $4.00 a gallon before we knew it. I swear honest engine this gas station was selling regular unleaded for $3.99 yesterday. Why did Matt Lauer have to go and tell them too?

I am not even near the Bay Area or Los Angeles. It is more than likely even higher in those places. So all I could think of to say was OUCH and Thankfully my little car gets really good gas mileage!

The Wall

2008-05-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have hit a wall. I can’t climb over it. I can’t break it down. I have literally spent the last week just sitting at the bottom of it staring up at it. It is huge and intimidating. I wish I could say that I didn’t know who was responsible for it. Unfortunately I built it.

First I dug the footings. Then I added the rebar to reinforce it. I followed that with a 5 sack concrete mix. As the concrete set, my wall became my obstacle. It took me a week of stupid selfish thoughts about not being good enough to build it. I spent the next week as stated above pondering it.

I really hadn’t realized that it had become evident to anybody but me. Until 2 people in my life made separate comments. One of these people sees me regularly, talks to me daily and claims that I am a mentor to her. She stated that I don’t seem as excited about church as I have been in the past. The other person is a regular commenter on this blog. The comment just said that it was good to see me back.

I think that the hardest part about hitting the wall is I am not going through anything traumatic, stressful or challenging. I just don’t know my next step. It is like I have been trained for the basics and I have used them. Now I need to know the more in depth things to continue my journey but I either haven’t received the training or am not confident enough in my own knowledge to accept that role.How do awesome writers like Heidi, Hope, Kim, Natalie, Cindy, Robin, Deleise and so many others always tie normal life back to our Savior? I really feel like that kid that is in solitary confinement that is spoon fed a little and only let out for an hour in the courtyard a day.

So as I sit here looking up at my wall and wonder what is next? I ask of you my readers to please correct my interpretations and help me see the Word as you do. I am not promising to bend but I am promising to listen and contemplate with an open mind. I think that aside from the wall the biggest factor is that I may not understand something in the way it is meant and will suffer worldwide embarrassment. I am open for that.....So Correct and Explain Away.

The good news is that when I stopped looking at how tall and big the wall was and started looking around I realized that when I built it I only built it 10 feet long. (Robin Do I get activity points for walking around it?)

My Memoir in 6 Words

2008-05-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

My Friend Hope tagged me. She had a birthday and a beautiful blog makeover. Be kind and visit her if you haven't already. She has an awesome heart for God and a great way of putting things. I'm supposed to write my memoir in 6 words. So Here Goes........

BROKEN BUT BLESSED BY HIS GRACE

Scooter aka Proof My Husband is a Sucker

2008-05-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

My husband's name is Craig. He is a wonderful husband and a great father. He is the kind of man that deposits his whole paycheck in the bank, comes straight home from work and spend tons of time with his family. He loves sports both to play and watch. He is a neat freak and wants his yard and home to look a certain way. He isn't vain or conceited. He would never ask anybody to do something that he wouldn't do himself, except for childbirth.

Craig works very hard. He is a maintenance supervisor for a man who owns a few mobile home parks. One aspect of his job is to trap feral and abandoned animal that are lose in the parks. My husband has never had a problem with this part of his job. He takes animals weekly to animal control. He says it sucks but there is nothing he can do about it. I did a post awhile back about my pound puppy. Midas is just one of our pets. We are animal lovers but are realistic as to how many we can have. So we have 2 dogs, 1 cat and 1 yellow spotted geikko. Until Monday night that is.

My husband came home with Scooter. As you can see from the picture above she has had no problems adjusting to life here. My husband is a dog person so imagine my surprise when he came home with this sweet cat. She really is precious. The part of the story that cracks me up the most is that appearantly he has had her hidden in his shop at work for a week trying to find out where she came from. He disarmed the motion detectors in his shop so that she wouldn't set off the alarm.

Meet Scooter living proof that my husband is a sucker, I mean softy!!!

Side Note--Kim the roller coasters were great!!!!

Mother's Day~Friday Outings~Health Update

2008-05-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother’s Day to all of You Amazing Women!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weeks Friday Outings is a little far from home but still in California. We are traveling to Santa Clara (About 4 hours South) this weekend to ride roller coasters and attend Spring Celebration at Great America.

Spring Celebration this year is featuring Switchfoot, Kutless, Barlow Girl, Red and Family Force Five. I can’t imagine a better way to spend Mother’s Day weekend then Awesome Worship and Roller Coasters!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As far as my health.....I had a follow-up with the neurologist today and my brain is good. I even got to see the side by side comparison of the new MRI and the 2005 MRI. My other doctor did a battery of neck x-rays. The x-rays show disc degeneration as well as some bone spurring in my neck. I believe that we may do and MRI on my neck but I just need a break. I am on a few meds that seem to keep me pretty even and help with the headaches and aside from a small patch all feeling has returned to my head. My personal belief is that the Lord healed me. I walk out of that neurologist’s office the first time being told that I had an auto immune disease, just not sure which one. I walk out of there today and was informed that my brain and everything in it is all normal and actually quite healthy. All of my prayer warriors and my faith have banished that from me. I will take a little bone spurring and loss of disc over MS, Lupus, Graves Disease, ALS, Fiber-myalgia any day!

Faith and Encouragment are my Spiritual Gifts. I'm claiming them!

Project Update!

2008-05-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

I figure since I am blessd enough to have a group of people that tell me how beautiful I am and that "I do have ridiculously skinny friends." (Thank you Deleise, I have a special place in my heart for you!!!) I figured I owed you all an update. As of today I have lost........7 whole pounds and 2 ounces!!!

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement! I really do love you all!!

Jesus Is Still Working On ME~~I Pray!

2008-05-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

You know that when you ask Jesus into your heart and life that the hard work begins. The process can be slow for some things and some sins you can lie down and never look back on them again. Some people you walk away from and others you run to and tell them about this glorious change in you. You lose some of your past mentors that were mentoring you in bad things and you gain new mentors, angels, that help lead you down the path that you have chosen. The path of peace, love, eternity and also some pain and strife.

You go through your days casting the old you aside and working to be more like Jesus. You want the change to be instant. You want everyone to see that halo over your head. You want everyone to see how great your life is with Jesus in it. But it doesn’t happen that fast. At some point you may even get discouraged and think that you haven’t learned anything. You may think that you aren’t trying to walk Jesus-like you are just a sinner wearing a mask.

Then one day down the road you are sitting somewhere and something happens. Something that would have triggered bad behavior in the past with you. You notice that it doesn’t affect you the same way. For a few fleeting moments you see Jesus in the mirror instead of your face. You become filled with joy and love. You have done it. You have, if even for just this instant, shown the world around you that Jesus is in you!

It is these small milestones that start to add up and create the new you. The person that shows love, compassion, grace, humility. Soon you realize that you are pretty strong in your Love Walk. When you started you were all sinner now you are Jesus’, still a sinner but redeemed.

These last couple of days I have been struggling with the person that I use to be. I am a very in your face, call it as I see it person. The Lord has been working with me on this for longer then I care to admit. I need him to work extra special hard right now. Because sadly I really am having the hardest time holding my tongue. Unfortunately for me I am pretty good at being blunt, vocal and scalding with my mouth. I will even admit that there was a time where the hurt I caused didn’t bother me because I was stating the truth. The only reason that I admit to this particular shortcoming is that I haven’t had any issues for the last couple years. Now I have two friends that are being beaten up on but other people and I really want to rip those people to shreds. So I am praying for Jesus to continue holding my tounge.

Try MEANDERS

2008-05-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Kim challenged us to look around the blogging world. Click on blogs we have never read and see where it takes us. That is basically how I found all of you in the begining so I am not to bad at it. I actually think that I have compiled a nice list of blogs that are not only inspiring but fun. So I took Kim's suggestion and clicked clicked clicked. I found a couple new people that I have been reading.

Today I went to "meanders" and was slightly wowed by his post called SAVED!(from myself...hopefully)It really hit home today.

The Old and The New - Friday Outings

2008-05-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

When you read people’s blogs you find out things about people. I posted about how one of my favorite things to do was to go to concerts. Kim responded and told me that she liked cemeteries. Kim this post is for you!

I took pictures of the oldest cemetery in Old Shasta. Most of the deaths were in the 1850s-1880s. We did find one gentleman that passed away in the early 1900s. As you can see from the pictures there is no greens keeper. All the vegetation is allowed to grow grow grow. The second set of pictures is the Northern California Veteran’s Cemetery. My Mother in Law is buried there and my Father in Law will be also. It opened just a couple of years ago. It is so peaceful and beautiful there.

Kim I really want you to enjoy these pictures!

I also want to thank you all for making me feel welcome. I can't wait to see and meet you all. Have a Blessed Weekend!!!

I'm Going To Take A Journey

2008-04-29T21:15:00.000-07:00

After a few e-mails back and forth with a few of you. I have decided that I am going to step out there and visit a state that I don't think I have ever been too. Can you all guess which one???

On my journey I am hoping to meet great bloggers like Cindy, Robin, Kim, Natalie, Deleise and maybe even Roger and Shelley. If you haven't guessed yet I am going to Oklahoma. I am planning on being in OK from August 14 to the 18th. I would love to give it some great name like the First Annual OK Bloggers Conference but that may be premature. I am not sure if I will be able to get out there next year. It may have to be a semi annual event. Or better yet next year they all come to me. :)

So if anybody out there have any suggestions as to things I need to see please don't hesitate to let me know. Kim told me about botanical gardens. I love that and I know that I want to see the memorial. Mainly I am just really excited to see and meet these amazing women and men in person.

Thank you all for making me feel welcome. Especially you, Robin and Dirk....I am really not sure about the firewood though. Can't I buy it already cut. I mean we have people who park on the side of the road here with truckloads of firewood. :)

This Lady Rocks!!

2008-04-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I have found tons of awesome blogging people in Edmond, OK. I am even considering a trip to get to know these women better. More on that to come.

I have also found great bloggers from other places in the world and even in my little home state of California. If you have not found Heidi in San Diego yet. Please go to her blog.. Find Me.. Find Life..Real Life . She has a true heart for God. I know that Roger has found her. She Rocks, huh Roger. If I could get her to come with me to Oklahoma I would be stoked!!

So please spread some of your love her way!!

Whiskeytown Lake - Fridays Outing

2008-04-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

Last week I showed you Mount Shasta and Lake Shasta. This week I am showing you the lake that we actually play in. Whiskeytown is west of Redding. I think it takes us about 20 minutes to get there. It has alot of history. In 1963, John F. Kennedy dedicated the dam that created the lake.

The story that I have been told is that at the bottom of it is the town of Whiskeytown. They chose to dam it up and create at a resevior. There are several day use areas and campgrounds. There are also miles and miles of hiking trails. Every year they have a Discover Whiskeytown Falls week. As you can see from the picture they are really pretty. There is also the Whiskeytown Environmental School . Both of my kids have been. They attended in the 5th grade. They came home dirty and tired and ready for a real bed. They also came home excited and happy.

Next week I am covering something special for Kim. I am sure you all will enjoy it but this weekend when I go out taking pictures I am going to be thinking of her. Can anybody guess next week's location? Have a blessed weekend!

New Project~~Me

2008-04-23T11:33:00.001-07:00

At the beginning of the month I went to see Bon Jovi in concert. Daughtry opened for them. Chris Daughtry came out and sang a song with Bon Jovi. It was a super great show. It was the first Non-Christian concert I have seen in 3 years.

There were seven of us and we stayed in a hotel that was built in the 20’s and was totally art deco. One of the nicest places I have ever stayed. We went to a wonderful Italian restaurant for dinner. Where someone took our picture. It was when I saw this picture that it was all confirmed I am a big fat cow. No really I am. I come from a family of big women on both sides. My fraternal grandmother weighed about 300 lbs when she passed away. Her sisters where just as big. My mother is overweight also. So it is genetic and emotional eating that has gotten me to this point. Here are all us girls at dinner….Yeah I am the fat one.
Look Cindy I am the one that looks pregnant!
Last week I joined Weight Watchers. I have never done anything like this before. So far it has been pretty good. It is strange what foods you miss. I thought it would be hard to not eat french fries but I have found that my craving is for cheese. So hopefully the next time I post a picture of me I will be a little lighter. I actually have had fun this week and my husband has been super supportive. I need prayer to stay smart and strong!

Have you ever?

2008-04-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just broken into tears for no reason other then Jesus in you? Have you ever felt such compassion for someone that you actually stop and lend a hand? Have you ever been just cruising along, minding your own busines, when all of a sudden you feel God in you so strong that you have to pull over?

Have you ever........

Help...I've been Tagged

2008-04-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

Deleise Tagged Me...Don't worry I will survive.

Here are the rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their name, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What was I doing 10 years ago:
Ten years ago I was living in Reno. I was a promotions manager at a casino and I was working about 70 hours a week. My children spent more waking hours in daycare then at home. I was in the middle of the “It’s all about ME” phase of my life.

Five Snacks I enjoy:
In a perfect, non weight-gaining world:
1. McDonalds French Fries (the XL Size, Please)
2. Deep Fried Mushrooms
3. Cheesecake
4. Cheetos Crunchy or Puffs
5. Shrimp any way I can get them.

In the real world:
1. I love Concerts.
2. I hate exercise.
3. I love to beat my son at pool.
4. I love to snuggle with my daughter
5. I have a tendency to tell it like it is.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. I would start a college for kids that are awesome academically but can’t afford to go to college. Their tuition would be free as well as their living expenses as long as they kept their GPA up.
2. I would Travel to the rest of the 50 states that I haven’t been to yet.
3. I would sponsor tons of Compassion kids instead of just my 2.

Five jobs that I have had:
1. General Manager of a Car Lot
2. Human Resource Manager
3. Promotions Manager
4. Caregiver to a Down Syndrome Boy
5. Construction Office Administration

Three of my habits:
1. I turn my car stereo off in my neighborhood. It really thumps.
2. I always take my shopping bags to the grocery store. (this one bugs my husband)
3. I am an e-mail checker too. (that was one of Deleise's)

Five place I have lived:
1. Santa Cruz, California
2. Reno, Nevada
3. Pismo Beach, California
4. Redding, California
5. Mena, Arkansas (only for 2 weeks)

What do you want others to get from your blog:
I would like other people to see that they aren’t alone in situations. That was one of the reasons that I love ready blogs. I would like it to also be an outlet for others. I think that we have a great opportunity to meet fellow believers, mothers, women, fathers, men and realize that we are all just trying to do the best that we can. Oh but mainly I want them to learn things like Deleise and Kim like burnt cheese.

Five People I Want to Get to Know Better:
(a nice way of saying TAG!)
But don't feel obligated! Just do it if you want to.
1. Kim
2. Natalie
3. Heidi
4. Roger
5. I don’t want to torment anymore than that. ;)

Mount Shasta/Lake Shasta - Fridays Find

2008-04-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

It is time for another journey around Redding.

Redding is an ideal place for anybody that loves outdoor living. Our biggest industry in town is recreation. We are nestled in a Valley surrounded by beautiful things. We have some big mountains, a couple big lakes, a really long river and many more things. One of the great things about Redding is that the city has made sure to require new developments/subdivisions to create walking trails and open space.

This week I am featuring beautiful Mount Shasta and Lake Shasta. I am not getting into the history but I will give you all a link if you are interested in some facts. From my backyard I can see Mount Shasta in the distance. The mountain itself is about an hour north. I have friends that love to ski up there. I am a beach girl so skiing isn’t my thing. Lake Shasta is a summer hot spot. They have tons of house boats that you can rent.

My family doesn’t spend any time on the lake because of Alligators (that is just for Cindy), actually it is because I prefer the pool that is in the backyard. I am a horrible homebody at times.

The pictures from last week and this week are hijacked off of yahoo. I plan on venturing out and taking some pictures with my own little camera. Just for all of you. I am pretty sure they won’t be as great as Deleise’s or Roger’s wife’s but I have some stuff that I want to show you through my eyes.

Isn't this the most beautiful church. This picture is just amazing. I am ashamed to say that I don't personally know the photographer but here is a link to their work.

Next Friday I will show you my favorite lake to go splashing around in. May you all have a blessed weekend.

(Thank you all for your kind words lately. I am blessed to have you all in my life. I may just need to come to OKC and collect me some hugs!)

Child-like at 20 - The End

2008-04-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

……They can see that she loves the child she is carrying and there is an instant connection.

At the meeting they talked. They discussed faith in God, how they discipline their daughter, and what kind of extended family they have. Will her child grow up in a big family or small one? Will her child be taught rules, morals and consequences? The more she talked to the couple the more at peace she became with her decision. She asked them what they would expect from her as the birth mother, would contact be maintained throughout the child’s life. How involved did they want to be in the pregnancy?

At the end of the meeting the adoptive parents hugged her and told her that they would wait to hear her decision. They knew it would be a hard one and if she had anymore questions to contact them. Little did they know that she had already made up her mind. She wanted them to be her child’s parents. She knew that they would give her child everything that she couldn’t. She knew that she would be allowed to still love her child from a distance and not have to worry about the child’s upbringing.

So here she is at 20 relying more on her doctor than her family. She tells him her decision to allow the couple to adopt her baby. They together called the couple and told them her decision. They were excited. It was going to be a long journey. She was only 6 weeks pregnant.

The couple took full interest in her. They offered to cover her living expenses but she chose to go on welfare to assist the couple. She wanted them to spend the money on her child not on her. She became friends with the Mother-To-Be (MTB). Her doctor recommended an OB. He didn’t accept Medi-Cal. The MTB went to him and explained the reason why the girl was one Medi-Cal, she offered to pay the difference between what they paid and what he billed. The OB decided to accept just what Medi-Cal paid. The MTB was present for her sonogram. The MTB and the girl were together when they found out that the child was a boy. The couple asked the girl if she had any name preferences. She didn’t want to interfere with the important name decision.

August, 10th the girl had her labor induced. Two hours and 35 minutes later with the MTB present in the room, the girl gave birth to a beautiful boy. The nuns at the hospital tried to talk the girl into keeping her son. But the girl told them that her son belonged with his parents, the couple that were going to raise him. The girl got to hold her baby a few times in the hospital. When they were released the girl was wheeled out of the hospital holding her son. She handed her son to his mother. It was both rewarding to her and heartbreaking to see him leave with them. She said a special prayer that he would always be happy and know that he was a loved child of god.

Through the years she has received pictures and family letters. He knows that he is adopted and has been raised to believe that he was given as a gift out of love not tossed away because he wasn’t wanted. This couple that stepped up to raise her son had done an outstanding job.

These posts have been the story of how I spent the 20th year of my life. How I had a beautiful baby boy. How with an extraordinary man’s help and faith I found a beautiful family for my son. My son will be 19 this year. I feel blessed to have been used as a vessel.

Child-like at 20 - Part 2

2008-04-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Is it better to have the abortion and spare this child the poverty that it will live with? The girl’s mother has already said that she wouldn’t help with the child. The girl’s father isn’t around at the moment either.

She makes and appointment with her doctor. She has known him forever and trusts him. He is one of the few mature adult males that she trusts. He starts talking to her about adoption.

She had never thought about adoption. How would anybody ever forgive her for giving away her baby? Would any man want her to be his wife? Would she ever have the life that she wanted? The life of being married to a man that loved only her. The life of giving him children of their own. The situation that she is in has totally renamed the term “Comes with Baggage.

Her doctor pulled out a file that had “Resumes” in it. There were pictures and life stories of people that wanted children and couldn’t have them. She didn’t have any idea that people were so desperate for children that they contacted doctors they didn’t know on the offside chance that they might know a girl that wanted to give up her baby.

She reviewed the file and talked to her doctor more about adoption. He offered to go through the process from beginning to end with her. He offered to help her interview people that wanted to be parents to her child. He had known her most of her life and was so proud of her for not having an abortion. He knew her home life. He knew her mother. He knew how hard this whole thing was for her.

Together they went over the resumes. They picked a few and started to get further into the reviewing process. How do you pick your baby’s parents? How do you rectify the whole thing in your mind? You aren’t in a position to raise a baby but you also don’t want an abortion.

After review of over 75 couples, she picks one. She likes this couple because they have already adopted a child 5 years earlier. Her child would have a sister. She also likes them because neither of them can have children. There will never be any blame about how come they can’t have children of their own. That is a great comfort for her.

She and her doctor contact the couple and arrange for a meeting in his office. She is nervous. What will they think of her? Here she is giving away the one thing they want more than anything and can’t have for themselves. They can see that she loves the child she is carrying and there is an instant connection.

The third and last part to come tomorrow......

Child-like at 20 - Part 1

2008-04-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

There was a 20 year old girl that was not living as she should. She was having fun. She was bartending, doing drugs and sleeping with her boyfriend. She thought that life didn’t get any better than that.

She was raised a Christian. She believed in Jesus. She believed in the Sunday school version of Jesus. She had no understanding of the real sacrifice He made for us.

One day she started not feeling well. She was so tired, she started vomiting at weird times of the day. She had to work to survive so she did more drugs to keep her going. She went in to see her Doctor. He had been her doctor her entire life. So she told him how bad she had been feeling. He ran tests.

The next day she learned her fate. She was pregnant. How did this happen to her. She was so careful. She used the pill, she made him use a condom. How? How? How? As she sat in the doctor’s office hearing the results she started praying. Isn’t that what her grandmother had taught her? Tough times get easier with prayer.

She talks to her boyfriend. He is shocked, they have been so careful. He doesn’t believe in abortion. She is relieved because she doesn’t want one. She is scared the he will want to get married. She loves him but doesn’t want to marry him. This is the first time in her life of “maturity”, that she realizes that she doesn’t want to marry the man she has been having sex with. They talk and talk. They take time alone and then come back together and talk. He does the one thing she fears that most. He asks her to marry him. He doesn’t love her like that, she doesn’t love him like that either. They are lovers and friends not life long companions. If they marry they will end up hating each other.

She witnesses an incident in a McDonalds where a mother is buying her child a Happy Meal and not getting herself anything. When the child asks his mom why she didn’t get anything she tells her son that she only has enough money to get him his meal. Since it is his birthday she wants him to enjoy his Happy Meal. She weeps as she witnesses this mother’s love for her child. She wants so much more for the child she is carrying.

Is it better to have the abortion and spare this child the poverty that it will live with? The girl’s mother has already said that she wouldn’t help with the child. The girl’s father isn’t around at the moment either. Is she going to end up following in her mother’s footsteps?

To Be Continued……

Books

2008-04-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if there is anybody out there that likes Janette Oke books.
I have the complete Love Comes Softly 8 book series.

Love Comes Softly
Love's Enduring Promise
Love's Long Journey
Love's Abiding Joy
Love's Unending Legacy
Love's Unfolding Dream
Love Takes Wing
Love Finds A Home

If anybody is interested in them let me know. I will send them to you.

Send me an email theresa162@yahoo.com

The Sundial Bridge

2008-04-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!

The forcast for the weekend is awesome. I love it when the temps are in the upper 70's and 80's. As you will all hear me talk about later in the summer I am not all that excited about the 100's. Quite a bit of summer is that HOT.

I think that I am going to try and introduce Redding to those of you who have never been here. There are some really beautiful things about this area. Redding is about 3 hours north of Sacramento and 2 hours south of the Oregon Border. Robin has a friend that lives here named Linda. They go on cruises together. (I am hoping to show you things that Linda may not have.)

Here are pictures of the Sundial Bridge. Click on the link to learn about all the facts about it. It is a gorgeous sight. The architect was Santiago Calatrava from Zurich, Switzerland. It spans the Sacramento River. It is the centerpiece of Turtle Bay Exploration Park. We are members of the park. It is a fun place for kids and adults. In May the Butterfly house opens. My daughter loves it.

I live in a very beautiful place and I look forward to sharing it with all of you. I am praying that everyone has an great weekend!!

Great News

2008-04-10T03:03:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I have updated on my health. Mainly because there hasn't been anything new. I have had good days and bad days. I have been seeing the doctors and I have finally had an MRI on my head. Yesterday I got the results.

I am so excited to say that I don't have MS! Still don't know what I do have but I am not focusing on that. I am so glad that all the speculation was wrong. I believe that the Lord is healing me. I have full faith that it is his will for me to be whole.

My friend Pam introduced me to the Healing Room at Bethel. I have been a few times. It is really an awesome experience, but hard to explain. The last time I went the intercessors that were praying over me had visions that they shared with me. The first one was that she could see me in a family room welcoming people and I had a huge bouquet of flowers in my hand. She interputed this as me being a welcomer. That I have an open heart to welcome people. The second vision was that I was in a huge meadow by myself. The meadow was full of flowers and there was a stream running through it. She said that she saw me sitting by the stream dangling my feet in the water. That I was at peace and not in a hurry to go anywhere. The water washing over my feet was God's love for me washing me clean. I love this image. I have clung to this image and prayed about it.

I truly believe in the Supernatural Gifts of God. I accept them with an open heart and open mind.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. - 1st Peter 4:10

A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have. - 1 Cor. 7-11

Thank you all for praying for me. Thank you all for your comforting words. I will gratefully accept your continued prayers. I will also continue to pray for all of you. If you have a special prayer need, Please just let me know.

Ryan - My Son

2008-04-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

On February 16, 1993, in the middle of a blizzard, I was blessed with a little boy. We named him Ryan after my grandfather. Ryan means "Little King", and boy does it fit.

Ryan's first act of love towards his father was to immediately pee all over him. At that moment they bonded. Ryan is so much like Craig that I have often wondered if there is any of me in him. Then I will catch a glimpse in his eye and I know there is some of me in there. The funny quirky side of him comes from me. He also gets his analytical side from me. There are things that I have to explain to Craig and Hope that Ryan just gets.

Ryan is now 15, a freshman in high school. He is basically a good kid. I wish he would get his grades up but at least he is working on it. He LOVES Basketball. Our AAU season just started. This year he is on a new team. He was approached by 4 teams and he picked this one. We have participated in two tournaments so far. The first tournament they took 2nd place. The second one they took 4th. The first tournament we played our age group of 15 and under. The second tournament they bumped themselves up to Jr. Varsity. Them boys are a lot bigger.

What is amazing to me is the team was happier with the 4th place finish in the second tournament then the 2nd place finish in the first tournament. The first tournament was a breeze through tournament, it was easy. If the other team hadn't played a little dirty we would have taken 1st place. The second tournament was a we are getting our butts (that isn't a cuss word right, Cindy?) kicked tournament.

After the second tournament the coach called the team together and gave them an option. Do you want to play the easy tournaments and get the wins or do you want to play the harder ones, learn more advanced skills and not win as much.

In other words....Do you want it handed to you or do you want to fight for it and earn it?

All 10 boys choose the harder option. They want the competition. Ryan says it is no fun to blow the opponent away. I am so stinking proud of my little man that is 6 feet tall.

Which way would you choose?
The easy way or the hard way?

Daddy Can You.........

2008-04-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

My daughter Hope went to Disneyland with her school band. On the way home one of the charter buses got a flat tire. They were in Lodi. (Not sure if any of you will remember the song “Oh Lord stuck in Lodi again” I know I am dating myself. That song was the first thing that popped into my head when I heard their predicament. It created the giggles in me.) Apparently at 7pm on a Sunday there is no one that can change a bus tire.

Hope was really upset because the band teacher had informed the entire bus of Junior Highers that they were going to have to sleep in the bus on the side of the road. Hope was not happy about that so what does my peanut do…….

She calls her Daddy. And in her 12 year old cuteness and the belief that her Daddy can fix anything…….She asks if he will come and fix the flat tire on the bus.

There were a few logistical issues with her request. The biggest one being that Lodi is about 200 miles away. So even driving 70 mph it would take almost 3 hours to get to her. Craig puffed up all proud that his little girl called him for help.

Hope ended up getting home okay. The bus pulled into her school at 10:36 pm, Sunday night. Exhausted, Excited and Talkative my Peanut is home. Boy did I miss her.

This situation got me thinking.

How many times have I asked my Heavenly Father for something that has “logistical problems”?

How often have I sought comfort in asking for something, knowing that He can do it? He can fix anything!

But most of all…..
When I ask for something with “logistical problems” does He look at me as Craig saw Hope when she called? Does He feel 10 feet tall and excited when I ask Him to help me?

Does He feel happy that I come to him childlike?

Does He feel proud that my faith in Him even covers the parts of my life with “logistical problems”?

HMMM...What to do?

2008-04-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

I find myself in a position that I am rarely in. I have 5 hours of total alone time. Five whole hours to do nothing. Five whole hours of not having to answer Mommy/Wife questions. The last time this happened was over a year ago. So I'm not really sure what to do with myself.

My daughter left for Disneyland on Thursday. She comes home tomorrow night. She went with the school band. They are marching in a parade down Main Street. She is so excited and has text messaged me endlessly about this ride and that ride. She has also purchased a hat that has Zac Ephron on it. That is "Just SOOOO WAY COOOOL".

My son plays AAU basketball. So Craig took him to Chico for a tournament. I normally go to the tournaments. I absolutely love them. But I have traveled way to much this week and decided that I wouldn't go today. They took second place last week in Sacramento which is about 3 hours south of us. Then on Wednesday I left for San Jose, about 4 1/2 hours south, for the Bon Jovi Concert. Which by the way was absolutely wonderful. So I am a little tuckered out.

SO that leaves me with 5 hours of no responsibility. What to do What to do. Do you find that when you have those rare times alone that you almost feel obligated to do something. It is almost like you are wasting an opportunity to grocery shop alone or get a pedicure, etc. I love the solitude of loneliness. Being raised as an only child I am very comfortable with my own company.

I have decided that I really want french toast. So I am going to go to breakfast, take the top off my car and go for a drive, listen to loud music and worship my Savior with all of my heart.

What would you do with 5 hours of alone time?

UPDATE......I ate a great breakfast, went to the meat market and then decided to get my nails done. I actually get them done regularly but due to Bon Jovi I had missed my appointment. I did finish my alone time off with a drive and alot of singing. The guys are home and my alone time is over. The only thing that would make it better is if my peanut was back from Disneyland. I sure do miss them all when they are gone!

Flashbacks

2008-04-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

I am getting ready to embark on a flashback to the 80's. In July of 1988, yes I said 1988, I attended a concert of a new band called BON JOVI.
This is them then.I had the best time.

Well tomorrow I get to relive that experience. A group of 7 middle aged women (this includes me) are going to revert to a pack of teenagers. We are going to hoot and holler and act like we are 17 again.
This is them now.

It is very odd to me that the first time I saw them was 20 years ago. It really doesn't feel that long ago. This is one of those momments that make you step back and realize you aren't a spring chicken anymore.

The very first time that I heard something and thought "Boy I feel old." was when the 20th anniversary of Star Wars was announced. I remember that day vividly. My mom is an avid Sci-Fi fan. This meant that we went and stood in line for 3 hours to see Star Wars on opening day. Crazy but true.

Have you ever had that feeling about something? Where you sit back and say Man that makes me feel old?
On a side note.....

All of my OK blogging friends, Please let me know that you have survived all the nasty weather. I saw this morning another tornado touched down but they didn't say which town. I am not very familiar with where the towns are. I pray for all the families that are affected but a special worry prayer goes out to my new friends!!

Sweet Lady

2008-03-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

My pastor posted this on his blog.

It is only a couple minutes long but so darn cute that I had to share.

Forgivness

2008-03-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

I plan on writing more about my life soon. My Grammy was my best mentor/mother/friend in my childhood, actually in my life. She has been gone for 14 years now but I still hear her telling me how to bring my life to the feet of Jesus. How no matter what I have done my Abba Father would still love me and accept me. Where as it brought up some feelings of resentment telling my mom’s story and feelings of great grief to talk about my dad. When I tell my story about my Grammy I will be full of laughter, love and pride.

I thought that before I moved on to happier aspects of my life I would first talk about forgiveness. We know that when we confess our sins to the Lord that he forgives our sins. That the slate is washed clean with Jesus’ blood.

Oh, what a joy for those
whose disobedience is forgiven,
Whose sins are put out of sight.
Yes, what a joy for those
whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. – Romans 4:7-8

How come it is harder to forgive others sin against us than it is for God to forgive our sins against him? Am I the only one that has at one time or another been stuck on the hamster wheel of holding someone’s sins over their heads? Unable to forgive them for an action that hurt me? What about when you love the person and they hurt you? Break your trust? Use you? How easy is it to just turn the other cheek and say “I forgive you”?

What is Forgiveness? What is the true definition of it?
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

It took me a long time to really understand the depth of walking away from hurt. That I was suppose to treat that person as if nothing happened. But I also learned that the more unforgiveness I carried around the only one I was hurting was myself. I was stealing time from the Lord who wanted to work in my life. I was missing my blessings because I was stuck in unforgiveness.

One day I woke up and it was like God was sitting on the end of my bed. He was begging me to let him heal me. He told me to seek him first to heal my pain. At that moment I realized that I wanted the life he promised. I realized that I could forgive my mom for not being the best parent. I could forgive my dad for the things that were done to me but most of all for dying.

As I sit here today I reflect back on those things that caused me the most pain and I choose to not be a victim. I choose to be a Princess of my Divine Father! I am reconciled, loved, forgiven and most of all His child. My Heavenly Father Loves ME!!! YEAH!!! Guess what…..He loves all of you too.

Forgiveness is giving up hope
that you can change the past!

My Dad - Final Chapter

2008-03-26T13:31:00.000-07:00

In this picture I am 17 and that is my Dad. I got married at 17 and divorced at 18. My first husband was Army and couldn't stay faithful. I will cover that topic another time. I just love this picture though. When we were together it was like no one else existed.

Back to the story...
When I was 19 he was on a trip and he ended up getting arrested on the Mexican side of the border and went to prison in Mexico. My dad wasn't always the brightest bulb in the box. He attempted to smuggle 50 pounds of marijuana into the USA. His pick-up truck had 3 gas tanks so he hid it in 2 of the tanks. He got caught and taken to jail. In Mexico there is no such thing as a speedy trial and you have no rights. If there isn't someone on the outside to take care of you they put you in the poor section and literally wait for you to die. There is no 3 hot meals a day or prisoners rights to have toilet paper, bedding, cigarettes, clean clothes. No matter where my dad went he made friends. This is a blessing because his cell mate's wife took care of my dad too. She would bring them food 3 times a day, clean laundry, toiletries, etc.

He remained in prison in Mexico for a little over 2 years. In that time he had never even had a trial. The United States extradited him to a prison in Texas for tax evasion. I always thought that was ironic. His birthday is April 15th and he hated paying taxes. Owing taxes is what got him back to the USA and due to overcrowding in the prison system he was paroled and sent back to California basically a free man. I was living in Reno when he was released and I remember that he couldn't wait to get up there to see me. He had to get permission from his parole officer to leave the state. It was great to see him. He was thinner but you could tell that he had a great appreciation for freedom.

My dad came through Reno quite a bit. I got to see him a lot. He loved my husband so we always had a good time. When I had Ryan, my dad made it to the hospital before my mom. My dad lived in southern California and he made it to the hospital to see his grandson before my mom who lived 5 miles away.

My dad was still into dealing drugs mainly marijuana. He had moved up in an organization and was now the shipment scheduler instead of the runner. He kept this lifestyle away from me and my family. Once in awhile when he came through town he would ask me to come to his room and count cash. It was usually in the tens of thousands of dollars. He said it would take him forever to count it all. I could usually do it in about 20 minutes. Thanks to the job I had when I first moved to Reno.

In October of 1994 my dad took my husband and a couple of their friend to Cabo San Lucas to go fishing. Craig and my dad caught a 600 pound sail fish. They had a great time. My marriage was falling apart at this time and my dad knew it. I always respected the fact that just because Craig and I were having problems didn't mean that him and Craig needed to have problems.

March of 1995 I was pregnant with Hope, she was due July 4th. I received a call from my uncle telling me that my dad was sick. I got on a plane and went to him immediately. He look gaunt and weak. They had just diagnosed him with cancer of the diaphragm. I stayed with him for a week and took care of him and laughed and cried with him. Then I had to get home. He was admitted into the hospital on June 23rd. I had started dilating and my doctor would not let me make the trip. I was distraught. June 26, 1995 (exactly 1 week before Hope was born) I told my dad that it was ok to let go. That Jesus was waiting for him. I told him that I loved him and I promised to be ok. He passed away after I told him it was ok to go. I was still on the phone.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. That I don't miss him. There are even days that I am angry that it was him that died. Nobody asked me which parent I wanted to lose. It just wasn't fair. I think his story shows that bad people can still be good. He did yucky things but he loved with everything that he had.

I want to thank you all for your patience, encouragement and your prayers.

My Dad - Part 2

2008-03-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

Then he pulled out a joint and lit it and handed it to me. This was how the first real meeting with my dad went…..

When we got to his house there was a girl there. She was 20 at the time. This girl turned out to be my half sister. That was a little interesting. I had heard rumors that she existed but it had never been confirmed.

My dad and I instantly were close. It was like the biggest missing piece of my puzzle had been found. He had invited my grandmother, great grandmother and my uncle to come for a BBQ. It was so interesting to see all of these people that I had known all my life in the same place as my dad. It was also evident that my sister felt like an outsider. She was still pretty much a stranger to these people and here I walk in and it is hugs and loves and normal.

My dad was a wanderer. He loved to “go for drives”. He also used drugs a lot. He smoked a lot of pot and did a lot of cocaine. When I was with him I used a lot too. I had been smoking pot since I was 13 and I had even done LSD a couple of times. My dad, sister and I would go all over and get wasted and have a blast.

There are three incidents that I remember clearly.

The first one, I was 16 and it was the last time I ever did LSD. My father, sister and I were at Disneyland. I ended up dancing down Main Street with Donald Duck in a parade. I remember looking over and seeing my dad and sister just laughing. I’m not sure how I ended up in the parade but apparently I was good.

The second was my 17th birthday. Dad had asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted to try mushrooms, the hallucination type. So we got a hotel room and dad, my sister and I did mushrooms. We laughed so hard for so long that the next day my abs hurt from all the laughing.

The third thing that I remember is this guy showed up at my dad’s door with a big brown grocery bag full of cocaine. We stayed up for 3 days straight. I was 17.

I could list many more times we partied but I really just wanted to give you a couple of examples of the lifestyle that I was exposed to when I was with my dad.

I visited my dad all the time. He lived about 3 hours away. One time there was some sexual abuse when I was at his house. I am not 100% certain what happened but just know that something did. I would have to say that the only time that I ever lost control of what was going on in my life was when I would be at his house. It was almost my escape from the constant demands of life with my mom.

When I was 18 my Dad and I went on a road trip for 6 weeks. We traveled through Texas and down into Mexico. We also headed north to Yellowstone. This was an amazing time with my dad. We were so compatible. We were so close.

When I was 19 he was on a trip and he ended up getting arrested on the Mexican side of the border and went to prison in Mexico.

To be continued…..

This part of my story is really hard for me to verbalize. I am not looking for sympathy. It feels good to get it out. I have a deep love for my father that is unexplainable. As I continue with the story of my father please don't judge him. I think he did the best that he knew. He didn't have a clue about being a father he only knew how to try and be a friend.

My Dad - Part 1

2008-03-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Since I talked about my Mom, it is only fair to cover my Dad’s story too.

As previously stated my mom and dad got divorced when I was around a year old. I personally think that as far as being a kid from a broken home I was pretty lucky. You can’t miss what you never knew. I never knew what it was like to have a mother and father at home. I never even had a stepfather. My grandfather passed away when I was a year old. So I never really had any male influence in my life until about the age of 16.

Even though my mom and dad where divorced. My mom always made sure that I knew his family. I had a pretty close relationship with my paternal grandmother. I also had a decent relationship with my uncles. They weren’t in my life daily but a couple times a year I would see them. My father wasn’t around much in those years.

When I was 5, my mom and I were visiting my grandmother and we heard that my father wanted to see me. This is the first memory of him that I have. I remember that he lived on a ranch with horses; he bought me my first pair of real Levi’s and a set of Lincoln Logs. That is about all I remember about that visit.

My mom had never received the court ordered child support of $60.00 a month. Can you imagine $60.00 a month to support a child? Then one day it started coming when I was 14. It was a check from the DA’s office. We got those checks for about 9 months and then we started getting my dad’s actual check. His check that had his address and phone number. So me being the smart butt teenager that I was decided to call him. It was 2 months before my 16th birthday. He answered the phone and I wasn’t the nicest person. I asked him if he had any clue who I was and he said yes that he knew who I was and had wanted to see me for awhile but wasn’t sure how to go about it. He said that he had a present for me and I very snottily told him that if it wasn’t a car I didn’t want it. Well imagine my surprise when it was a car. He had a 1973 Volvo that he had just put a new engine in and wanted to give it to me for my 16th birthday.

He happened to live in the same town as one of my mom’s best friends. We were going there for the 4th of July. So I told him that if he wanted to see me I would call him when I got to town. He asked me to please call him. He really wanted to see me.

The day came when we were in town so I called him. My girlfriend was with me and she was going to go with me to meet him. He came and picked us up. As we were driving to his house he asked me if I smoked. I said yes cigarettes. He then asked if I smoked anything else and I said yes pot. Then he pulled out a joint and lit it and handed it to me. This was how the first real meeting with my dad went.

I will continue with the rest of the story. It is so weird to see this stuff in writing and know that it is my life. It really is by the Grace of my Heavenly Father that I am still standing, somewhat normal.

None But Jesus

2008-03-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most beautiful songs. Everytime I hear it I get the chills. It is from Hillsong. Darlene Zschech sings it. She has a way of making you feel the music. The words are soothing to me. So I wanted to share. I wish you all a blessed Easter!

None But Jesus-
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

My Mom - Final Chapter

2008-03-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

I am really going to try and blow through the rest of this regarding my mom. After going back and reading everything I have written I am surprised I am not in counseling.

Needless to say my mom didn’t stop me from marrying Craig. My mom began to resent Craig because he had “taken me away” from her. It use to really insult me that she felt I was so feeble minded that I would let a man take control of my life. Then I realized it was just her way of dealing with me leaving. I look back at that part of our relationship and wish that I had never moved back in with her.

My mom is a compulsive gambler. Sometimes she wins, sometimes she loses. For the first couple years of my marriage I still catered to her financial needs. I would loan her money that she rarely paid back. Craig finally put his foot down and said that I couldn’t give her any more money. His rule was that she could borrow $20.00 from me on the week she was going to get paid and then she had to bring it to me that day to pay me back. This actually felt great. Craig stepped up and laid down the law when I was having a hard time dealing with it. This rule created tension between my husband and my mom. Not that their relationship was great.

We lived in the same town as my mom, less than 5 miles away. We would go months without seeing her. Even after the kids were born she was pretty absent. There was a whole block of turmoil regarding my marriage during this time that I will write about sometime. All I will say now is that she decided that Craig was the lesser of two evils.

In 1999, Craig and I moved to Pismo Beach. We lived down there for 3 years. She never came and visited us. But during that period she traveled to Chicago two times, Austin three times and Los Angeles three times. She even called me up when she was in LA and asked if I could come down and meet her there but leave the kids at home. I didn’t go.

As I have stated in previous posts, we reside in Redding now. We moved up here in 2002. Reno is about 3 hours away. I can say that she has at least made the trip 2 times.

I have to remind my mom of her grandchildrens birthdays becasue (her words) She would have to write them down on a calendar to remember them. Sorry for the strain that that would put on you Mom. (that is me being my sarcastic self, it comes out once in awhile)

I love my mom. My heart breaks for her. She has always looked for love and acceptance in the wrong places. Her automatic reaction to anything is to find something wrong with it. You could walk into the nicest restaurant in the world and there would be something that she could find to rag about.

She has classified me as another “Bible Thumper”. I am an imbecile to her to put my trust in the Lord. I pray for her to find her love and acceptance through Jesus instead of slot machines.

To finish this set of posts, here are 5 things that I learned from my mom that have been great lessons….
1. Work Ethic – Her home life is in shambles but she is the most reliable employee anybody could hope to have. She has over 5 months of sick leave saved up because she always goes to work.

2. Cleanliness – Because she is a slob, I am not.

3. Tolerance – By witnessing how she doesn’t tolerate. I am a pretty tolerate person.

4. Survival – I had no choice but to give up and cry in a corner or survive for the both of us.

5. Love – She taught me what the statement “She loves you as much as she can or knows how to” means.

Though Christ I have been taught that I can Love way more than that. But through my mom I have been taught that there is a difference between unconditional love and the gotta work for it love.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

CA Chapter of the Cindy Beall Fan Club

2008-03-17T19:01:00.001-07:00

I recently asked Cindy if I could be the president of her California Fan Club. She said yes. So I ordered the appropriate shirt for this duty. I just got it. It is awesome. If any of you are interested just let me know and I will tell you were to get yours.

My Mom - Part 3

2008-03-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

My mom injured her ankle while chasing an inmate. She went on a medical leave. They came back and rated her ankle as unable to do the required functions of her job. I was 17. So she retired from the county collected her PERS and decided that she wanted to go to Australia.

We planned her trip. She was going to be gone for 6 weeks. I got to stay at the apartment alone and she left me her car. I started working when I was 13 so by this time I was pretty much capable of supporting myself. Those 6 weeks were awesome.

My mom is a pack rat. I was raised with 2 feet of clutter on every surface imaginable. She didn’t and still doesn’t believe that dishes need to be done until every fork in the house is dirty. That works out to be about every 3 weeks. She has tons of forks. So when she left on her trip. I spent 2 days cleaning the apartment. I literally donated 15 huge black garbage bags of stuff to the Salvation Army. I also threw away 20 bags of trash.

When she got back in town. She laid her suitcase in the middle of the living room floor and there it stayed for weeks. It was at this point that I decided to move out. Two of my girlfriends and I got a really nice condo. My mom was devastated that I wasn’t living with her anymore.

Basically for the next 3 years I lived my life separate from her. We would have the occasional dinner out. She really loved her independence. She had never had it. She went from living with my grandparents to living with my dad to living with me. This was the first time in her life that she had been alone. I must admit that I too was enjoying my independence. I didn’t have to worry about her bills just mine. It was a great relief.

When I turned 21 I decided that I wanted to leave Santa Cruz. I decided to go to Reno. This was in October 1989. In August of 1990 my mom followed me. I had control of a stash of her money that she received when she retired because I didn’t want her to blow through it and have nothing. When she came to Reno I found her a nice doublewide mobile home in a good park and paid cash for it.

She needed financial assistance and asked me to come and be her roommate. I decided that I would live with her temporarily. It was a hard adjustment for me because she immediately assumed that I would jump right back into my role of caretaker. Instead I had established my lifestyle and taking care of my capable mother wasn’t in my plans. I figured moving in and paying most of the bills was enough.

Craig asked me to marry him. We went and told my mom. Her reaction was tears. She said “Who is going to take care of me now?” I assume that I must have enabled her for her to feel that way. I really hadn’t expected her to beg me not to get married. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Craig. It was that she didn’t want me to leave her.

Craig and I married in July of 1991.

To be continued……………………….

My Mom - Part 2

2008-03-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

I am going to pick back up about the time I was in the 5th grade.

My mom decided sometime around this time to apply for a Santa Cruz County Sheriff position. Not the kind that you are on the streets but a detention officer. It wasn’t very common for women to work in the jail. They needed to have at least one woman on duty 24 hours a day because of the rules regarding female inmates. Mom got hired. This was great for her because the pay was good and she got full benefits for us. I know that that eased her worries a lot. She had told me once that if she wanted to survive without getting remarried she either was going to have to continue to work 2 jobs or she needed to get hired in a male dominated field. She chose the later.

Things were pretty calm through my Junior High years. She worked 12 hour shifts and I was finally at an age where she would leave me home by myself. By the time I was nine I was pretty much running the house, making all of my own doctor’s appointments, dealing with the bills and basically telling her what she needed to deposit to cover the expenses.

Mom has never been good with money. She really loves to gamble. There were many times that she would take off and do the Tahoe/Reno loop. Basically that was where we would leave and go to Tahoe, spend the night. The next day we would drive to Reno and spend the night and then we would go home. I remember a few times when we would be driving home and she would be in tears because she had lost all of our money. One time when we went she gave me the checkbook, ATM card, credit cards and cash. She made me promise not to give her any of it back no matter what she said. So here I am in the arcade of Harrah’s playing video games and along comes my mom begging me to just give her a little more money. It was a very strange thing. That was probably the first time that I really felt our roles had reversed and I was more the parent than her.

Our house was always the one that my girlfriends wanted to hang out at. There were many times when my mom would go to work at 7 at night and all my girlfriends would just stay at the house with me. There are 5 of us girls that met in grammar school and we are all still friends. My mom became their buddy. My mom was the mom that would take us to concerts. She was also the one that gave us the sex talk and took us in for our first female physicals. If any of us girls had a question about anything we could go to my mom and ask her. In this way she was the most awesome mom.

When I started high school we started having problems. She all of a sudden thought it might be fun to be my mom and I didn’t see why she needed to do that now. She hadn’t really done it before. So I rebelled and did what I wanted anyways. I was always getting called to the vice principal’s office for being truant. By this time I had also started smoking cigarettes and pot. My mom was working the graveyard shift 7pm – 7am. She would leave for work at 6:15 and the party at my house would start at 6:20. I remember getting on my knees and begging her to kick me out. I wanted out of her house. I thought that I could do it all on my own. She refused. She said that when I was 18 I could do what I wanted but until then I was staying. What is weird about that is that if I really had wanted to go I could have run away but I never did.

My Next post I will bring you all current with where my mother and I are now. I didn't realize how much I had to say about her. This is truly a great outlet.

My Mom - Part 1

2008-03-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

It is hard to figure out where to start when you want to talk about your life. I covered places that I have lived. Now I think I will cover some stuff with my mom.

My mom was born late in my grandmother's life. She was also their only child. She was seriously spoiled. That song by the Beach Boys about daddy taking the T-Bird away so describes my mom's teen years. Except that my grandfather never kept the car for long.

My mom has a wild streak even now. She can be a kick in the pants if you aren't relying on her to raise you. Fortunately she relinquished me every weekend to my grandmother. (I'll write about her soon)

Mom had me when she was 18. She graduated high school six months pregnant with me. She was married to my father. So when the school tried to kick her out my grandfather had to go in and fight for her right to finish high school. I know my grandparents were upset that she was pregnant and married at 18 but I think they more upset because my father was a Mexican. I was born in 1968 and I guess the whole interracial marriage thing still didn't go over well.

My parents got divorce before I was a year old. Which if you have to come from a broken home I think that was the best way. I don't have any memories of them together. I had no idea what I had lost. My mom never remarried or had any other kids. I am it for her.

Mom did what she had to do to support us. She has great work ethic and always had a job, Sometimes two. In my younger years she was very wild. I remember seeing things when I was little that I shouldn't have. One night I woke up and needed to use the bathroom. The house we lived in had a jack and jill bathroom. When I went into the bathroom the door on the other side was open. Guess what I spied at the tender age of five....They were having an orgy. Yes a real orgy. My mom was dating a guy named Steve that use to watch me after kindergarten. He decided it would be fun to see what a kid is like when they are high. So he blew pot smoke in my face over and over until I was high. My mom came home and she was really really mad and kicked him out. Then to make up for it she bought me 2 gold fish.

I had stated in a previous post that my mom had moved us for 2 weeks to Arkansas. When we moved back she smoked a joint with some friends that was laced with something. She wigged out the entire night. The next day she swore she would never do drugs again. To this day she hasn't. I don't believe she ever did anything more than smoke pot but it was great when she quit do that.

I will continue my/her story next. I didn't realize how long it would be.

Thank You All

2008-03-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

I don't always get a chance to respond to comments left for me. I read them all though. I just wanted to say a big huge Thank You to all of you that read my blog.

You are the most awesomiest group of people. You pray for me, encourage me and make me laugh. Yet none of you have met me. I am a stranger.

Often times your posts cover Christian principles, the way to be more Christ-like. You all walk the walk and talk the talk. You love me as your sister in Christ unconditionally. I know that none of us are perfect. I know that we all have our struggles and sin.

I will end this sappy post. I really just wanted to say THANK YOU!!

Places I Have Lived

2008-03-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today that I have been eavesdropping on all your blogs. But I haven't told anybody much about me.

For the next couple days I am going to list some stuff from my life. I hope you all are interested.

I thought that I would start with the places that I have lived.

I grew up in Santa Cruz, California. This was a great place to grow up. We went to the beach constantly. I lived about 3 blocks from the beach and I remember when storms came in I could hear the waves crashing at night. It was a very different time then. I use to take the city bus all over with my friends and we were never bothered. I look at my daughter now at 12 and I can't imagine giving her a bus pass and telling her to go have fun. Times have changed.

My mom was pretty nomadic when I was young. I do remember a time between third and fourth grade when she decided that we needed to move to Mena, Arkansas. My mom worked in the Levi's plant sewing on belt loops. That lasted two whole weeks and then we were on a Greyhound bus back to Cali. Besides that move there was usually one every couple of years. After Arkansas though we stayed in Santa Cruz county.

Two weeks after my 21st birthday (1989) I moved to Reno. I stepped out in faith that everything would work out. I had an apartment waiting for me and $500. I spent 1 day collecting applications and the next day I went to turn them in. I got hired at the first casino. The job was in Soft Count. Basically it means that I sat in the basement with a crew and we hand counted paper money for hours on end. I loved that job! It was fun! I met my husband in Reno. Both of my children were born there. The last position that I held in Reno was as a Promotions Manager at a local casino. That was fun because they sent me to Vegas alot. One thing I forgot to mention is that my mom is a compulsive gambler which made me a person who doesn't gamble. People are amazed that I lived in Reno for 10 years and never hit a Royal Flush. You gotta play to win.

In 1999 my husband decided that he wanted us to relocate to Pismo Beach. This was way fine with me. I am a beach girl. When we relocated my son was in 1st grade and my daughter hadn't started school yet. Pismo Beach is the only beach in California that you can drive on the beach. Yes actually on the sand. I remember Christmas of 2000 my Inlaws came and we spent Christmas day at the beach in 75 degree weather. It was a great day. I worked for wonderful people there and so did my husband. My Inlaws would come for Christmas every year. We noticed that in 2001 Mom was really deteriorating health wise. So Craig and I discussed this and decided that if we were ever going to make the move to Redding (his hometown) we needed to do it now. I wanted the kids to get established in school, make friends all before Junior High.

I have lived in Redding since July of 2002. I never wanted to live here but it has grown on me. It is a very beautiful place. It is also very Christian. Thank the Lord for that. It is amazing how He touches this community.

April 2006 My mother in law passed away. In August in 2006 my father in law had a mild heartattack. At that point we decided to move in with him to take care of him.

So here I sit in a ginormous Master Suite that if it was in NYC you could rent for $4500. It can be frustrating to blend the families but it is a decision we made before we married that our parents wouldn't be alone in their old age. My biggest fear is that my Mom's health will fail before Mel is gone and I will have to have them both here. Not nice I know. Sorry. I am only human.

If you could add Craig (my wonderful husband that I don't deserve) to your prayer lists I would truly appreciate it. He such an awesome man and I am so blessed to be his wife.

This scripture makes me laugh and not take life so seriously.

We can make our own plans,
But the Lord gives the right answer. -Proverbs 16:1

Sorry for the super longness of this. :)

Looking for Suggestions

2008-03-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

I was informed today that I need to exercise my mind.
"Keep your mind Stimulated."

So my awesomely smart blogging friends.....
Besides Crossword Puzzles...

What are some way that I could stimulate my mind?

Fear & Worry - NOT

2008-03-09T20:21:00.001-07:00

I have spent most of my day praying, worshiping and reading scripture. I can feel my Heavenly Father next to me. It is such a huge gift to feel him here. Selfishly, most of my prayer have been about me, for me. I wasted about an hour this morning full of fear and worry. Then I heard Him tell me to stop it, that he is with me and He is going to stay with me. He led me to these two scriptures:

Don't be afraid, for I am with you.
Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. -Isaiah 41:10

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadows of shame will darken their faces. -Psalm 34:4

I think that they pretty much speak for themselves. My fear and worry left me immediately. It left me so fast I almost felt stupid for feeling it in the first place. The feelings that I have now are ones of Joy, Peace and Love!

Our God is a truly AWESOME God. He gives us what we need when we need it. All we have to do is let go of control, give it back to Him and seek Him first for everything. Please if you are worrying or afraid take comfort in the Lord. He wants to be our Abba Father.

Blank Piece of Paper

2008-03-07T03:18:00.000-08:00

One of the symptoms that I have been experiencing lately is the loss of some cognitive function. I have always been a person that remembers everything. Appointments, Shopping Lists, Kids Schedules. I have never had to keep a date book. I noticed this change in October and since that point I have started keeping a date book. I don't even attempt to make plans without looking at it because, to be totally honest, I have no clue what is going on in my life tomorrow or next week. I just flat out don't remember.

I have also started making lists for everything. I work a short day on Thursdays. Yesterday I had 4 things I needed to do before going home. I wrote them on a sticky note, put it on the steering wheel and went about my business. My husband isn't use to this aspect of me. In fact it has been this loss of my brain function that has made him step out of his denial and realize that something just isn't right with me. So every night I sit down with him and go over my next day with him. Yesterday we joked that I may not remember my 4 things to do and since picking up my son was my last errand he may get left at school. My husband said that he was going to put a note on our door that read "Got Ryan?". Because if he wasn't with me I had left him at football practice. LOL Fortunately for me I gave my kids cell phones and they are smart enough to call me. Where my husband had some problems excepting these changes in me, my children have adjusted wonderfully.

I have a notebook by my bed that I write lists in. This notebook is my correspondence notebook. I only write in it calls I need to make, emails I need to write, things that I may want to blog about, stuff like that. So I woke up at 2 am and remembered a birthday coming up. I went to write it down and saw this...

A blank piece of paper with the words "Jesus is ALWAYS with you". That is all that was on the paper. I am not sure even when I wrote it. I just looked at that statement and wondered what I was feeling when I wrote it. Was I happy and writing it joyfully? Was I sad and writing it as a life line? Or was I just being me and writing it as fact? This really is a huge statement to me no matter what my mood was when I wrote.

I received a good spiritual foundation thanks to my Grammy. I strayed in my life and sinned in a bunch of ways. Someday I will write my story, not yet. But even when I strayed I remember feeling Jesus with me. Tapping my shoulder, whispering softly that I really didn't want to do that but that he would love me even if I did. Some people call that your conscience or Jimmney Cricket. I have always known it was Jesus. He isn't just IN me but he is WITH me. Holding me up and even today telling me that he loves me.

My friend and I play the 3 blessings game with eachother when one of us is stressed, sad or upset. So yesterday when I felt like that kid with the black cloud over my head she said "OK- Quick 3 things that are blessings". She knows this will always snap me out of it because she knows my first and most important blessing is that Jesus Loves ME!!! My children and my husband are my other two.

YEAH I AM SO BLESSED!!! :)